American Beauty Continued...

Oh, And one more thought!! Put everything in your life in its' proper perspective! So, yea:

1. Keep it real.

2. Put everything in its' proper perspective.

Take care my darlings and have a wonderful Sunday Evening.









-- Desde Mi iSoul

American Beauty

Oh! my goodness, peoples! Shocker Alert! Here I am again, blogging! I do believe I go through phases where I am able to gab and phases where I don't know where, how, or when to even begin to gab. Anyway.

Lately the weather has been this "spring-ish" like attitude, gyrating between chilly and warm, with this persistent wind that is on the verge of being strong, but stays on light cruise control instead. I recently have been trying to define this feeling inside of me and why it is so important for me to pull it out of everyone around me... and I now know how to define it: Real. I have a very... well, not complicated mind, but many faceted mind/thought process: picture the Hoober-Blue Highway criss-crossing itself and doubling back and looping hopelessly and marvelously around and in and out of itself with rhyme and reason just because it can. ... regardless of whether I want it to or not. It just does its' own thing and I go along for the ride. Anyway, so.... I can tell when people are being fake with me. I can tell when something is "off" with what they are telling me or talking about something. I can't always, put my finger on exactly what it is, but I can just tell something is there regardless. .. That being said: I understand when people keep parts of themselves hidden, however, I can tell when people keep parts of themselves hidden just to be "accepted." AND THAT DRIVES ME NUTS. I understand. But it drives me nuts. And then, I'm not really even mad at the person for being "fake" and untrue to who they are.. I'm more mad at the "they" aka the "commercialism" that drives individuals to convincing themselves that being like the "they" is how they need to be.

Another thing that makes me sad is when people put on a fake facade because they actually care what everyone else thinks. That is the worst.

I am sitting here watching one of my favorite films, American Beauty. It is about Lester Burhnam. He is married to an uptight fake real-estate agent, Caroline, and they have a daughter Jane. Jane is a dark beauty who is friends with a popular blonde fake girl from her school. Lester falls head over heels into lust for his daughter's best friend, and Caroline begins to have an affair with Buddy, a competitor in the real-estate world.

I think of Jane's mom in American Beauty when I think of people that care what everyone else thinks about their lives. When Buddy tells Caroline that "to be successful, one must constantly put on an image of success.." I cry a little inside. Because, it almost sounds right, but something is missing from what he said. Do not pretend to be successful.... Either you are or you aren't successful, but don't pretend to be, because acting successful your entire life will never make you successful. Be honest with yourself. If you want to be successful, be real: acknowledge reality, the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. Everything isn't cotton candy pink, and everything isn't dark, evil, scary. But nothing is anything without it all to balance each other out. (and you're thinking, oh, god, here she's about to go all Zen...) But yea, Seriously!!!

I love this movie, because it is about people finding what makes them alive, and it is about people that act and over-react a certain way they think they should be. And I beg you, dear reader, to Forget All Of That!! I beg you to forget what anyone else thinks, or says or does... What do You think? What do You say? What do You do?..... How are You?... Ask yourself these questions. Imagine living forever, in an ocean of time... A place where time doesn't end; it just keeps playing, and death isn't waiting at the end, because there is no end. Now, ask yourself, do you want to forever pretend to be someone you're not.. Or would you rather strive to be successful in the face of adversity, in the face of love, in the face of this stupid little life?.....

I had so much more to say about this movie, but it all boiled down to .. just.. be real. Keep it real. Please don't be fake. I would rather know I don't get along with the real you than get along with the fake you. And I'm not saying that to anyone, I'm just saying for everyone, real is the best policy. Plain and dry. So, have a good night, my dears. Tomorrow is another day. I will be another day older, and .... I don't know. *smile* And that's o.k. Life happens.

Scott Pilgrim VS. The World

It is a Friday morning that I lay finger to keyboard once again. I have figured out the reason for my non-comital attitude towards blogging is brought on by the slowness of my computer; for which, I have no patience, hence I do not attempt the rigamarole to deal with it.

I can very much associate with Scott Pilgrim as his computer tells him he has e-mail (Imagine That!) and he is fascinated by it. I resembled him very much a few days ago when my cousin informed me of Google Chrome and Google Documents: There is Such A Thing!!!!!!!!!! But, my dear reader, I get ahead of myself: very ahead of myself.

As with all the transitions in one's life, I got caught up, how does one not. At Thanksgiving, I was caught up as a turkey is trussed up. By Christmas, I was perfectly wrapped up in the perfect box with a bow on top, only to be strewn in shredded confetti bits of ribbon and paper left over to be tossed about come New Year. And now...... I am still recovering from the aftermath. Was Christmas really only a mere two weeks ago?... It feels much longer past than that. Regardless of that, however, it has only been a few weeks. And to backtrack all the way to Thanksgiving, I resume the yarn where I sat down to watch Scott Pilgrim VS. The World.

The very beginning it is made abundantly clear by the graphics that the movie is in some way related to video games/comic books and/or anime. Scott Pilgrim is a twenty-two year old, who plays in a band and shares a loft apartment with a gay roommate. He begins dating a chinese high-schooler in a Catholic school, much to the chagrin of his friends who are of the opinion he is still grieving his past break up with ex-girlfriend-who-shall-not-be-named. Then (to steal the line from the back of box cover) the girl of his dreams, Quite Literally, shows up and so begins the rest of the movie. To date dream-girl, Ramona V. Flowers, he has to defeat her seven evil ex-boyfriends. Throw into the mix the fact he still hasn't broken up properly with the high-schooler, and his own evil ex-girlfriend shows up.

There are so many poignant truths sprinkled throughout this pop treat, how do I wrap them all up into a summary to encompass them all sufficiently?.... I can't.. So, I'll bore you by telling you the majority of them. ..... Poo. Nevermind. It is all about relationships and what it all boils down to is there are two HUGE factors you should closely pay attention to when considering getting involved with anyone:

1. Being Honest.

2. Self Respect.

If you use and embody these two key elements, you will be on the road to success. And remember, in many situations, You are your Worst Enemy. Don't let yourself get in the way of being successful. We don't get a "replay" button in life, but that's o.k. That's how we learn, and trust me: if you think something is yours, let it go; if it comes back, it was always yours, if it does not come back, it never was.

Love gets confused as being a cage, or being something we can hide or live in...... I think that "love" is something we create as a result of forcing the "real love" to stay in one place. Love is a bird: a butterfly: it's own creature, entity, with a mind and life of its' own. When we "are in love" it is because this beautiful creature has alighted on our shoulders both: quiet as a whisper, and no matter how gentle or forceful we are with it, it will fly away, and float out of our reach. But that's just how love is. We cannot hold onto it, we cannot tie it down, we can only let it be what it is, and have trust and faith that it will come back. A lady once told me love is like a point on a page that breaks off into two lines going opposite directions, and eventually they bend back to meet up again forming a diamond shape, only to break off again. We both go out into the world our separate paths, but Love leads us back and rests on our shoulders when we get home.

Love is "fickle, impulsive, and spontaneous......"

And if you watch the movie, you'll see that's what Scott Pilgrim realizes after Ramona changes her hair color from raspberry to blue. Life is a game we get one shot at, so don't be afraid to make mistakes, and more importantly don't be afraid to learn from them.

Read Riding Hood is As Lucky Does

Lucky

that hace

seven months-

No-

now eight-

No-

Now nine months

Ago:

I got My fresh start:

My chance to chase

My dreams

My hopes

My want

My need

For a

Different me.

How lucky....

Some never even get

What

They

Need.

I got:

Family

A home

Support

Opportunity

Space

Time

Understanding......

Location isn't everything...

What a place can offer you

Is. Everything.

I used to say

'I say goodbye when I say hello..'

And Now-

How lucky(?)(!) am i that I can say

Hello

When

i say

Goodbye.

My love of my life

Mijo mio

My baby

How lucky i am

To have him-

He has Already(!)

Taught. Me:

Sometimes:

You must let go to gain;

You must give to get;

You must do what is best for

You....

And everything else

Will

F

A

L

L

..into place.

How. Lucky. i am.....

That I have my chance

To be

Everything,

i want to be

Could be...

Even

just what i am.

i am lucky,

That

nine months

ago

I got my fresh start.

I got my new life.

And I

Never Thought

I'd say this(......!)

but...

I can Only Go Up....

From: Here.

To: there, Here, near, Far, anywhere

i am lucky.

To everyone that has helped me and been (and still IS) a support to me. Thank you. I wouldn't be where I am without every single one of you. I am lucky, I am blessed. I refuse to disappoint you.

I refuse to disappoint. Myself.

Bad Teacher

It has now been seven months since I moved from Colorado.

And it has now been three days since I just returned from my first visit back to my home state.

I am watching Enough. The third movie I have watched now since getting back.

The first movie I watched was Dumb & Dumber..... apart from hearing it mentioned from a few different sources, my mom and dad got it for me on blu-ray. Watching it, it wasn't how I remembered it, which actually was kind of shocking. I'm not used to movies not being how I remember them. After pondering it, I guess this is a good sign, since I did want to change my lifestyle. And the fact I now see things differently.... It made me glad it wasn't the way I remembered.

The second movie I watched was Bad Teacher. I would have watched it with Charmane, but stupid me, spaced that, "Oh! duh, Katalin! Nobody but you has a blu-ray player!" So, I just had to wait to watch it upon getting back here too. I enjoyed it, it made me laugh at the irony life plays on you when you realize that what you want changes when you change as a person.

And now here I am watching Enough with Nana and Papa. It's a good movie. And while I could blog right now, I actually have to go right now and call Charmane to say hi.

I'm going to have to start organizing my life, I have actual things to take care of. I will have to MAKE time for blogging. *smile*

Just Not Right Now

This is so ridiculous that I like this poem of mine, but I always feel like I am not done with it. Like my canvas of the geisha girl that took me... what... five years now to complete... This just doesn't feel complete. Usually when I have something that I am not content with it nags at me and bothers me like a pimple. I keep picking at it... and making it worse... But with certain things, like this canvas and my writing, I don't feel the urge to pick at it. It is fine for now, and I feel reassured that inspiration will come, it's just not right now is all.

Movies are so varied.
Movies are all similar.
they are like books
they remind you of the times
spent watching them
the time around watching
them, more than watching them.
I remember a first date
I was so tired and sitting
cold in the theater
standing up my knees almost buckle
he offers to cargarme (carry me)
No I decline with a roll
of the eyes...
sinking chair cushions,
old material, musty cozy smell,
empty living room occupied by an x-box
dvd's and games....
pacing between kitchen
living room, basement, room, kitchen,
piling pizza on a plate:
homemade, broccoli, mushrooms,
turkey pepporoni,
Salsa.
Futon, loft, hanging screen projector,
cuddling and tickling,
if you're hungry, there's food...no, it's o.k
I really didn't want you to reply
(and this I say to make it easier
to run away...I only wish you had
known, I really had wanted you
to reply: you had
to stay:you tried
to love..didn't get the chance...)
I'm sorry...

dark room lit by tv light
old Steve Martin flick,
falling asleep, waking up
you behind me, just holding me
breathing softly,
brushing my arm with your fingertips.....

ah movies. What they do to us.

ah memories. Why are they like photographs?....

Ice Age.
The New World.
10,000 B.C.
The Corpse Bride.
American Beauty.
Simpsons
Family Guy
I"ll keep you all on my shelf.
I'll never stop dusting you off
and
you'll never stop feeling my care.

I can't forget you all.
And you'll never know me.

How far I've come.
From then till
now.......

from waiting to
My best friends girl
from serendipity to
500 Days of Summer....
I can't forget you all.
And you'll never know me.

You'll never know I cared.
You'll never know
I keep you on my shelf still
I rememeber all those little moments.

You'll never know. Me.


Kate Mae J

A Note To Ponder About The Lion King

Morning!! Very, very briefly... So I watched the Lion King twice yesterday, back to back and finally said to myself..... It's interesting that Walt Disney was an aethiest....... And I think at this point when the country and our nation is past the brink of trouble, we need to remember our founding fathers, and their effort and sacrifice that built the United States on freedom and liberty.

BUT Other than that:)
I remember this movie from my childhood fondly *sigh* Good movie... me and my sis laughed a lot over Simone and Poomba
"SHE'S GONNA EAT ME!!!!!!!!!!"




-- Desde Mi iSoul