So many movies... so little time

     So..... i haven't blogged in a while. I am tired. I am probably just lazy. How hard can it be to just open a vein and bleed onto the keyboard my inner thoughts?.... I wish it was easier. I have watched a lot of new movies... new to me- probably not new to everyone else. They are movies from the 80's and 90's- christmas cartoons- children's cartoons- teen flicks- things I missed out on growing up. I watched and rematched them a million times now. Stuff like the Munsters (which is much older than the 80's...) but like I don't know.... a whole bunch of stuff.

The more time passes by though... the more I realize my life is getting away from me. About the time I feel sorted out.... something happens to make me feel like I really had no grasp on everything at all.
I was talking with a coworker about all the people that have come and go at my job... and then a certain name of a certain missed person popped up. And my coworker just simply said he misses him...... well, I miss him too.

Is life ever really sorted out without love?
I am going to go watch my Munsters Christmas special and be sad, because that's what i feel like doing. and tomorrow I hope I feel better. and I know I may not feel better. but i will soldier on. That's what I seem to be best at- surviving. I'm not really good at living. I'm just really good at surviving.
at some point I would like to live- not just survive. That is my goal.

goodnight  .

sincerely,
read riding hood