Young Frankenstien & Lemons

It has been a long few weeks for me, one of the reasons being I decided to take my own dad's advice and get rid of all my bad memories. Unfortunately, a lot of those are connected with my extensive dvd collection.



Due to my conviction, however, I have boxed up so many at a time and gone and sold them for a pathetically low price that hopefully someone else will appreciate and be able to take them home and enjoy. I am making a list of the ones I want to get again, just on blu-ray and not on dvd.
It feels so ridiculous that material objects can remind us so much of certain moments in our lives. I remember when Park Meadows mall first opened and my family went to see it, I had an old dime copy of the hobbit, with a mustard colored sheaf. Whenever I look at that book I can still remember hopping out of the car, trying to stuff into my blue shoulder purse and telling my dad, my favorite chapter was where Bilbo is overhearing the trolls talking about mutton stew.
Show me a movie and I'll tell you another memory entwined with it.
I am trying to start fresh with certain things, I want to let them go and be able to say, "Ok, let's do this again."
Not to mention, I still have a few movies I have never seen and would like to investigate.
Dr. Frankenstien being one of them.


I watched it for the first time a few weeks ago and it being a "blah" day, merely sat in a vegetable state staring at it in a monotone thinking, "I don't get it, I don't really care.. Thank god I have drawing to keep me occupied while suffering through this.."


However, since then I have watched it twice more and there is something about it... that.. has grown on me.



I think I was so against it at first because it was different, and I have a hard time dealing with change. I have always struggled with change, so much that even when I started taking theater classes, the hardest part for me was improv games because I didn't know how to just let go, and... go with the flow. I have learned A LOT since those days, and now, after sitting and letting Dr. Frankenstein steep on the back burner of my mind, I am watching it now, and enjoying it.



I notice a difference in growing accustomed to things you choose to change in your life and things that are just thrown on you that you have to just accustumbrate yourself to. The former is of your own will and desire, and with patience can be accomplished and enjoyed or moved on from. But something that is just thrown at you and you have to bite the bullet and just deal with... It has to be learned to love. Things that are thrown at us in life, I like to call those lemons.



I have learned to love them, but I will never settle for them. I don't ever want to settle for a lemon, I want to end up with something I looked for and that I can tell myself, "This is what life handed me, but this is what I want.." And go.....


I wish the same for you all as well. I wish that despite the lemons strewn across your path in life, you are able to look past them and still be able to search out the things you want and go after them.

wake me......when september ends......

wake me
when september ends.
wake me when the
sadness
and the
melancholy has passed on.

Wake me up
and
Let me cry.
Wake me up
and tell me
This is where I want to be.
Wake me up- and tell me


you're not gone.

Wake me up
and
Be by my side.
wake me up
and tell me
it hasn't already been a decade
without you.

my love.

you surprised me.

I thought.
I was awake.
I'm going back to bed now.
Don't let them wake me

up

without you.

Ten years

isn't enough time

to get

over

you.

Wake me up.
when heaven is here-

and

when you're next to me.
wake me up
my love.
Wake up with me.

Please.
my love.

Wake up......

I don't want to wake up

without you

anymore....

i.love.you. stop.
i.miss.you. stop.

wake....no... don't wake up....

come back to me.

.......

dedicated to everyone that lost something on this day. We all lost something. And we all are left here without the things we loved and lost. It hurts to think the things and people we lost are thinking the same thing on the other side. We are not alone in this loss. We are all in this together. I cry with every one of you all, and I smile with you over all the good memories. Please do not forget the beauty there still is in this world. I know the love we lost is still out there. Do not think it isn't

Under The Tuscan Sun

So, my dear fellow bloggers, facebookers..... etc. etc. Here I am yet again surfing and typing my heart away on this computer. I have completely chosen a 180 degree path change for my life: including renaming this blog. So, I find it only fitting that I should bring up a movie that most closely resembles my life in these most recent series of moments I have lived so far. The feature film being, what else, but Under the Tuscan Sun.

After a very recent divorce, Francesca gets talked into going on a tour of Tuscany to get away and while there sees a villa she decides on the spur of the moment to buy with the little bit of money left to her name... And thus begins her journey of her new life.

How can I NOT compare this movie to my own life?.... More of a rhetorical question than an actual one, I suppose.

So, if I was to review the movie but edit in the blanks from my own life what would it sound like.....

After a very recent break-up and death of three close family members, Katalin on the spur of the moment decides to move to San Antonio and take her dog and the last little bit of money and the last bit of sanity she has with her. And thus .... well, is the end of yet another sad chapter in her series of unfortunate events and the beginning of a series of random perchance occasions she puts herself in and at times just "coincidently" finds herself in.

Aaaaaand I have had someone tell me that I am boring, and that I am sad, AGAIN.. and that I should get "dolled" up and go out and dance and "find a boyfriend." I laugh out loud and think, "Is it really that simple?" L.O.L. And I have had someone tell me that when you stop looking so hard for something and just go with the flow, it will usually show up on its own. ...

So, I put myself on the path I want every morning and I wait to see what happens.... ...

Today, I got up, drank two RedBulls, ate breakfast, started laundry, took a nap, drank another RedBull, got out, ate a hamburger kid's meal with apples instead of fries and a strawberry lemonade, spent time with my aunt, uncle, and two cousins, went to the bookstore and picked out a book (duh, can never leave there without one...) and then came home, ate popcorn shrimp and put on Stranger Than Fiction for my grandparents to watch.

I'm not sure what this all adds up to.... But little...well, fully am I aware that...

This is what I do, this is who I am. ...

And tomorrow I will go to work, and let the day do the rest. Who knows, maybe I'll do something awesome like .... stumble across a ladybug...

or invent a cake made out of cake doughnuts....or indulge in cookies and milk after an atrocious day. Who knows? I don't. But I know it'll be awesome. Because it's mine... and no one else's.

and....

This is what I'm going to do.... and this is who I am going to be...

Goodnight.

That's What She Said

This is my blog Re-Discovered. This is my story.




Goodbye "That's What She Said"
You are what got me started
And I will always remember that.
And you're thinking "pfffsht...that's what she said.." And you'd be right...
That's what I am thinking while spending my days here in Texas=)
Yup...But that's not what She Said..
That's what I say.
Hello "Under The Texan Sun"

Super Troopers, What-A-Burger, & The Rocketeer & Joe versus The Volcano

So my dear readers, here I am. Life has granted me the grace and possibility to love and to lose. I realize now, when people ask if it is better to love and to have lost, or to not have loved at all.... They are not asking or comparing, they are trying to see if you know that none of that matters. What matters is if you realize that love without loss, is not love at all. Without loss we cannot know love; without love, we cannot understand loss. If we had never tasted bad, how would we know what good is in comparison?.....

Anyway... Translation into normal english.

There are plenty of normal things I do and I have rediscovered. Liiiike the simplicity of going to the bookstore and finding a patch of bare carpet and planting myself indian style down and peeling the cover of my journal back and jotting down my random feelings and thoughts. I have rediscovered speaking my thoughts without filtering them. I have rediscovered the wonderful cash-chewy-ness of cashew chicken and rice. I have rediscovered the splendor of the movie theater and how comforting it has been and can be at times of great stress. I have rediscovered new things I hadn't tried before, like the movie, Super Troopers.

This is what I have been missing this whole time!!?!?... Sad day that I've existed this long without this awesome laugh... But happy day, that from now on I am aware that it's here for me if I should ever need a good laugh.

I have rediscovered what it's like to have family... and to have family that actually cares about you; family that wants to spend time with you and get to know. People that love you.. for just being you.

I have rediscovered my appetite for food... And What-A-Burger.

I have rediscovered curiosity for stories hidden in between the lines of peoples stories around me, abbreviated and hidden in the square plaques we put on our cars officially called "license plates." Every plate is a story.... If only I was able to look into the history of each one, imagine the crazy and stupendously boring things I would hear about.

I have rediscovered the memories and new enjoyment of watching old flicks I grew up on, like The Rocketeer. I thought Lady Luck was one of the prettiest and most classic looking actresses Ihad ever seen and I still think so.

I have rediscovered the understanding of my own story, and the stories that brought me here. I have rediscovered the glory and comedy of Joe Versus the Volcano once more. "They look like little monsters... But, they're good little monsters.".... "Long ago, the delicate tangles of his hair, covered the emptiness of my palm...." Look I don't know you, you're angry... I can see that. I'm very troubled... I'm not ready to.. There's only so much time, so use it well... I'm sitting here talking to you, I don't want to throw it away...

I have no response to that..

Then maybe you should take me back to the hotel....

Will you meet me for breakfast?... I told you I was a flibberty-gibbet. I'm sorry I was so grotesque last night. Can I ask you a question?... Why are you dressed as Jungle Jim?

Goodnight.

The Shining

o.k. So after my productive day off... EEEk except for doing my laundry... (must get on that....) I am now watching The Shining... In broad daylight with my blinds open enough to let daylight in... Yes. I am a chicken when it comes to horror and I am not too prideful to admit it.

Shining : definition: n. sixth sense

I had read the book by Stephen King a long time ago, but since forgotten the meaning behind the title. The little boy has a friend "Tony" that lives in his mouth and tells him things that have happened or things that will happen. The boys dad gets a job as a winter caretaker at a hotel in the mountains. I'm sure EVERYONE knows it's the hotel in Estes Park, Colorado. And I'm sure EVERYONE has seen it a long time ago, so I'll skip over all the sordid details. But I will say, I had forgotten the shining refers to the sixth sense that is stronger in some people than in others.

What absolutely makes this beyond creepy for me, is that I remember that road driving up to that hotel, I remember those mountains. I know that place personally. The actors casted are creepy looking people too (duh) and the music is a lot of "white noise." I Hate...I loathe...I despise... I ABHOR white noise. GIVES ME THE HEEBIES JEEBIES AND OBVIOUSLY IT'S NOT JUST ME THAT FEELS THAT WAY!!!!!!

At the beginning, while the hotel owner is showing the wife and husband around the grounds, a black man that is the hotel manager, Mr. Halloran, takes their little boy, Danny to get some ice cream to keep him occupied for a bit. He recognizes that the boy has telepathic abilities and asks Danny to talk with him about it. Mr. Halloran explains that he used to have conversations with his grandmother for hours without ever opening their mouths and she described it as them having a shining to them that some had and "others didn't."

Now that the sun is going down, I have turned the volume down and put on the subtitles. Just too plain creepy to keep this turned up. I bet Danny wishes he had a remote he could use to turn off his telepathy with.

And on that short and cheery note, I hope you all get some sleep, because guess what? Tomorrow is Friday!! Again!!!

Big

It is my Friday... well, my first friday.. cuz then Wednesday is my second Friday... and real Friday isn't really a Friday at all... So, yea.... Anyhoo.....

And I spent the morning at work, and kicked some dragons, then napped (cuz kicking dragons will take the punch out of one's self..) and then passed a languid 45 minutes at 1/2 priced books and came home to eat a lovely Betty Crocker's dinner prepared by mi Nana with Bluebell ice cream and strawberries for dessert. After watching Sleepless in Seattle the other evening for the first time, the subject of Tom Hank's looks got brought up and I asked if they remembered the movie Big he was in......Aaaaand the answer was a big fat "No" cuuuz, they'd never even seen it. (!)What!!??

So, as of this moment, we are almost done watching Big, about a kid that made a wish at a carnival that he was big. "Big" meaning "grown-up." And he just so happens to make the wish while playing an arcade game for 25 cents...And it comes true. It is sweet and a movie from my childhood interestingly enough. Need I say more?... Probably... But I am just going to leave you to discover it for yourself... Goodnight everyone. It's been fun...