Silver Linings Playbook

Well, my dear readers, I feel like an inspired breathing machine blogging away (almost) every day about something I've watched or been watching. I have had a busy work weekend and today I got off work and instead of just going home to fall into my unmade up bed and snooze my life away, I decided to get cleaned up, grab my computer and journal, and shtuff and go sit at Barnes and Nobles bookstore like I used to all the time and just chill with my headphones on and watch a movie, write some if I wanted, maybe read if something caught my eye. I got Starbucks and a lemon bar, plugged my computer in, plugged the headphones in and zoned out. For some reason I had the urge lately to watch the movie Silver Linings Playbook. I don't know why, I loved the book and really didn't want to watch the movie that I knew would be altered in some way from the book and have it ruin my perfect imagination of how I imagined the story to have been. But this past week I had the urge none the less, and so I just rolled with the feeling, got the movie, downloaded the digital copy yesterday, and so today as I scrolled through my iTunes movies, I saw it there and rolled right into it ……. and loved every minute of it.
The dude, I don't know if I remember it right, (Gary Cooper?…) well anyway, the main guy… he is perfect in this. I am so used to seeing him as the "cool/put together" guy that to see him as this guy that was formally undiagnosed bipolar trying to deal with his issues and failed marriage and family issues all at the same time, made him instantly endearing to me. Oh. my God. Freaking endearing. And Jennifer Lawrence, she is amazing as well. I know some people didn't like the movie, they felt there were too many holes in the plot, and that is very possible, because since my brain could have just been filling in the holes automatically with all the story plot from the book, I was able to just focus on the deliverance and presentation of the feeling behind this story and it touched me. It's about being honest and wanting to be a good person, and finding silver linings in life. Being honest is a huge part about this movie, and I loved it. Loved it loved it  loved it. Ya know, I usually have a good sense of whether I will like a movie or not, and lately I have started to analyze why I take forever to watch certain movies that I end up loving… And I think I have this complex that, since I know I will love it, I want to hold onto that anticipation as long as possible, because as soon as I watch it, I will be sad it is over and I will already be worried if I will find stories in my future that will make me feel as emotionally content as that, and I am afraid of not finding any more fulfillment.  Summarized, I am afraid of loving and letting go. Because once the movie ends, I have to get up, continue on with my day, go through all the motions, and still have the hope that I will find another movie in the future that will make me feel complete again. I love feeling the reassurance that movies give me, that can be a mirror to things I feel, so I am reassured that I'm not alone. But then there is always the fear, that I won't find that reassurance again.
It's like being in a relationship, actions keep love alive. And there is always that fear, that one day, there won't be any actions to keep that love alive.

And I'm not sure where I'm going with this, I'm already lost. But whatever. I loved this movie. Because in the end, of the book and the movie, they figure out that accepting yourself and forgiving yourself lets you accept and forgive others…. that taking care of yourself teaches you how to take care of others…. that loving yourself, you learn how to love someone else and that doing what's right for you let's everything else around you just fall into place where it should be.

with that, goodnight all, I am done rambling. I am going to sleep well and wish you all the same.

Love,
Read Riding Hood