Scrooged

Good evening my lovelies, another beautiful day. Today is Veteran's Day, and I wanted to make sure and thank all of you veteran's for you service. If it wasn't for you all, I would not enjoy the freedom to have this wonderful blog platform and every free day of my life.

I have things I want to say today, but I get lost in how to say them, I guess.  I partly blog as a form of therapy, I feel better talking about things, and I like to flatter myself and think that maybe it gives help/hope to at least one other person, and that makes it all worth it.

Ya know, about a year ago, I needed "help." Like… "professional" help… not like I was psycho, but like, I had depression, and I needed to reach out and get help. And unfortunately,  instead of taking care of myself, I let it go until I was such a mess, I made a mess around myself as well. And luckily I had people to help me, but there were things that other people couldn't help me with either; example: taking those steps to help myself. I had people get me to the hospital, but then upon leaving the hospital, I had to find a way home. I learned some valuable lessons, including the lesson, that others can "help" me get better, but  I Myself have to put in the work, no one else. No one can be responsible for my health and well being except myself. And just the other day I learned that in life I will find people like family and people I love that  we will be "responsible to" but the only one we are responsible "for" is our own personal self. This is a fairly new concept for me, but it makes sense, and in as much as it feels like a lonely place of taking on responsibility, there is freedom. Because in taking responsibility for myself, I cannot put the blame on anyone or anything for my unhappiness and at the end of the day I can decide my happiness.

And on that note, I decided I needed to go out of the comfort bubble I have created for myself and begin to do some spontaneous things like I used to. That's all I used to do, was spontaneous stuff, so much so, that the important things I would bypass on my search for the constant different next thing. Well, the last three years, and this last year especially have been no small learning curve on my road to finding a happy medium between spontaneity and punctual routine-age-ness.. (yes, I just created a word there….)

so… What was my spontaneity this week?… Deciding to finally splurge on a $12.99 blu-ray of an eighties hit I've always wanted to see, but just never took the chance on it: Scrooged. Starring Bill Murray, it is a Total 80's Film. I am now old enough to appreciate cheesy costumes, eighties humor, and some strange story lines; and this Christmas Carol adaptation happily satisfied my craving for something different. The cute but spirited Christmas present fairy smacks Scrooge's cheek and tells him,  "Oh, sometimes the truth is painful…..but it's made your cheeks all rosy and your eyes bright as stars.." Life is like that a lot….. And at the end Scrooge has a monologue where he says,  "It's not too late on Christmas eve to have fun..You can call people that you haven't seen….It can happen everyday, you just gotta want that feeling! And if you like it and you want it, you'll get greedy for it! You'll want it every day of your life, and it can happen to you! I believe in it now! I believe it's gonna happen to me now! I'm ready for it! It's great! It's a good feeling! It's really better than I've felt in a long time…"  And when he says it can be something for everyday, I love that. Happiness is achievable, everyday… And if there is love, there is hope……..

And now there is a needy eleven year calling for my attention…=} So, I will let you all go, and have a beautiful evening.

Love,

Read Riding Hood