The Princess and the Frog

Good afternoon my dears, I have been so overwhelmed the last week... weeks... I have lost track of the days. I always seem to feel one day ahead too many, and by the time I land on the right day, I start second guessing myself. I'm exhausted; but I will say there is satisfaction in hard work. The satisfaction for me comes from working a hard day, and the following day learning from my mistakes and doing it better the next time. It truly is a luxury to go to work and know that if you make a mistake once, you are given the chance to learn from it. Life is not s
o forgiving. *sigh* But I digress.

I hope you all are having a much more relaxed and enjoyable afternoon. I am now, plopped on my bed, lying like broccoli........ vegged out to my hearts content. Lately I have been zoning out to the children's Disney movie The Princess and the Frog (which I will commence after chatting briefly with you lovies.)

The title says the summary of the classic fairy tale of the prince turned into a frog and only the kiss of a princess can change him back into a human. Disney chose the setting of New Orleans, and the prince is a playboy visiting to marry a rich daughter of a millionaire because his wealthy parents cut him off for being a leach. So, he either marries into wealth or finds a job.... He decides to marry into wealth... Unfortunately for him he runs into a voodoo charlatan who in seeking his own riches, turns the prince into a frog....
Meanwhile! There is a waitress, who loves cooking ever since she was a girl. She has worked two jobs her whole life saving to buy a restaurant, and one night while catering a masquerade ball put on for the visiting prince, she dresses in a princess gown and happens to meet a frog who happens to be the prince.... The prince mistakes her for a princess and makes a deal to help her buy her restaurant if she will kiss him and turn him back human..... So, she kisses him, but instead of turning him human, it just turns her into a frog too.... and so the mayhem begins.

It is a cute movie with catchy tunes and something I am totally too old to be watching, but do I look like I care?... Well, no... I do not. It is a sweet and funny movie with a firefly in love with a star he mistakes for another firefly who he "only sees at night, and she don't say much..."

I know I am like the waitress, I am used to working so much, but I don't know how to have fun, to go out and be social. The people that know the waitress, her name is Tiana, tell her, "girl, all you do is work!".....I feel like that's me. But that's just how I am, I have a goal and I know what I want. And it really is true that when you know what you want, everything is just bumps in the road.

And I wish the same for you all. I hope that you know what makes you happy, and you go for it... And even if you find out later, it isn't what you thought it'd be or maybe your dream just needs a little tweaking, don't be afraid to go with the flow of it. Find what makes you happy, I hope you do. Have a beautiful rest of your day darlings

Sincerely,
Read Riding Hood

Warm Bodies

It is very early my loves, I am off to a fresh start this day and the next few days. I just wanted to tell you that recently I watched this movie called Warm Bodies. It's a zombie movie, but it's about how a certain zombie falls in love with a still human girl.
The first day I put it on to watch, I was in a particularly pessimistic mood, and not really interested in anything. But after mentioning the movie to someone in a negative light, I suddenly felt like I was being a negative nancy (someone I never really want to be…) So, I am sitting here, picking up where I left off to finish this movie and not be a negative nancy (a wet blanket, a jaded female, a party popper…)… And I find myself becoming a total goober. He turns back into human by the end, and he gets shot and starts bleeding…. And the girl says, "He's bleeding…. He's Alive!. .. He's Alive!"……

And at the end he is monologuing and says, "every great thing starts out scary doesn't it?…"… and that's true…. I find it's easier to be a negative nancy than a positive polly, but it Feels so much better to be a positive polly. And I'm glad that I came back to this film to finish it. It has sincerity and heart to it, just give it a chance. I hope you all have a beautiful day, no matter what happens in it.

sincerely,
Read Riding Hood

Scrooged

Good evening my lovelies, another beautiful day. Today is Veteran's Day, and I wanted to make sure and thank all of you veteran's for you service. If it wasn't for you all, I would not enjoy the freedom to have this wonderful blog platform and every free day of my life.

I have things I want to say today, but I get lost in how to say them, I guess.  I partly blog as a form of therapy, I feel better talking about things, and I like to flatter myself and think that maybe it gives help/hope to at least one other person, and that makes it all worth it.

Ya know, about a year ago, I needed "help." Like… "professional" help… not like I was psycho, but like, I had depression, and I needed to reach out and get help. And unfortunately,  instead of taking care of myself, I let it go until I was such a mess, I made a mess around myself as well. And luckily I had people to help me, but there were things that other people couldn't help me with either; example: taking those steps to help myself. I had people get me to the hospital, but then upon leaving the hospital, I had to find a way home. I learned some valuable lessons, including the lesson, that others can "help" me get better, but  I Myself have to put in the work, no one else. No one can be responsible for my health and well being except myself. And just the other day I learned that in life I will find people like family and people I love that  we will be "responsible to" but the only one we are responsible "for" is our own personal self. This is a fairly new concept for me, but it makes sense, and in as much as it feels like a lonely place of taking on responsibility, there is freedom. Because in taking responsibility for myself, I cannot put the blame on anyone or anything for my unhappiness and at the end of the day I can decide my happiness.

And on that note, I decided I needed to go out of the comfort bubble I have created for myself and begin to do some spontaneous things like I used to. That's all I used to do, was spontaneous stuff, so much so, that the important things I would bypass on my search for the constant different next thing. Well, the last three years, and this last year especially have been no small learning curve on my road to finding a happy medium between spontaneity and punctual routine-age-ness.. (yes, I just created a word there….)

so… What was my spontaneity this week?… Deciding to finally splurge on a $12.99 blu-ray of an eighties hit I've always wanted to see, but just never took the chance on it: Scrooged. Starring Bill Murray, it is a Total 80's Film. I am now old enough to appreciate cheesy costumes, eighties humor, and some strange story lines; and this Christmas Carol adaptation happily satisfied my craving for something different. The cute but spirited Christmas present fairy smacks Scrooge's cheek and tells him,  "Oh, sometimes the truth is painful…..but it's made your cheeks all rosy and your eyes bright as stars.." Life is like that a lot….. And at the end Scrooge has a monologue where he says,  "It's not too late on Christmas eve to have fun..You can call people that you haven't seen….It can happen everyday, you just gotta want that feeling! And if you like it and you want it, you'll get greedy for it! You'll want it every day of your life, and it can happen to you! I believe in it now! I believe it's gonna happen to me now! I'm ready for it! It's great! It's a good feeling! It's really better than I've felt in a long time…"  And when he says it can be something for everyday, I love that. Happiness is achievable, everyday… And if there is love, there is hope……..

And now there is a needy eleven year calling for my attention…=} So, I will let you all go, and have a beautiful evening.

Love,

Read Riding Hood

From Up On Poppy Hill: true love is always young love

 Good early afternoon all my dears, it is a cloudy day here, and the threat of rain is hanging over us all.  I am actually off of work and just arrived home from the river. I enjoyed quiet time at the river and I ate my early lunch before coming home and tucking myself up to maybe write, watch some movies, and thumb through some books.








I had the pleasure of watching the latest Ghibli film, From Up On Poppy Hill. I first found out about it a while ago from a trailer on YouTube. Since the poppy is my favorite flower, the title alone drew me in. It is about two school kids in post World War II Japan that fall in love with each other.

I think Studio Ghibli enjoys sharing stories about love, and more specifically, about young love, or love found by people young in heart, people new and fresh to finding true love. Like Howl's Moving Castle, the characters aren't necessarily young, but upon falling in love with each other, the love they share isn't messy, it is pure and adulterated, it is a love that children often find and lose and that adults are lucky to ever find again. The love I am talking about is a love that doesn't stem from lust or loneliness, but a love that sparks between two individuals over a connection. Two people can be a perfect match for each other, but if they don't have that "love" for each other, it's like that saying, "who cares for all the crinkling of a pie, if at the bottom some sweetness doth not lie?." It basically is saying even if a pie looks perfect, if it doesn't taste sweet, no one will care  for it. And just like two people, even if they look "picture perfect" together, if there is no love, what's the point?


As we become adults, we go through experiences that jade us and we begin to look at all our childhood dreams as "childish notions" that should be set aside to "grow up." As little girls we want our prince charming, and as little boys we want our princess, but sometimes growing up, life and circumstance gets in the way and over time we convince ourself that the notion of finding "prince charming" and finding "our princess" is ridiculous and foolish. This is where we are wrong. It is not wrong to hope for our prince, or our princess's, we just have to grow smarter about seeing things for what they are. It is not wrong to love, but it is wrong to stay with someone just because you love them, when all they do is hurt you and never give back the same love you gave them. As young people too often we fall in love with someone that we "see" as our prince/princess, when really love has blinded us and what we mistake as royalty is really just the opposite.
So, what am I trying to say?....
Never stop believing in love.
Never stop hoping for your fairy tale.
Women, We should want a prince charming!
Men, You should want a princess!
But don't go looking for a princess in a slut
and don't go looking for a prince in a player.
And if you want a prince, don't present yourself as anything less than a princess.
And if you want a princess, don't present yourself as anything less than a prince.
AND never settle for less than Exactly what makes you happy.
Learn to recognize what's in front of you, and don't beat yourself up for loving people, you can't help who you love. But you can help what you do and who you get involved with.

Watching From Up On Poppy Hill, I enjoy the belief that true love is always young love, no matter what age it finds us; whether it is like the little children in Ponyo, or these young adults in Poppy Hill.







  ...........

When In Rome

Good afternoon my dears, I am watching When In Rome for the upteenth time and let me tell you.... if you want to see how I am in real life, watch this movie. Seriously. ... This is me. *sigh* That is all I have to say, google When In Rome. I hope you all have had a lovely afternoon, a beautiful weekend; and I wish you all the happiness the world has to offer you.

You've Got Mail

Good late night my darlings, it is a bit late for me to be up and doing anything but be sensible and just try to sleep. But here I am, awake, none the less; and blogging for that matter. The last few days, I have felt the urge to watch an old time favorite of mine that I grew up watching: You've Got Mail, with Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Dave Chapelle, Steve Zahn, and a few other people I don't remember; oh, Yea! And Greg Kinnear. Meg Ryan is the small time bookstore owner, and Tom Hanks is the "price club" of books who is just opening up a new store in the same neighborhood as Meg Ryan's store, threatening to shut down her business.

This whole movie is full of so many sweet truths and the sweet seed of hope. Makes me think of all the endless hours as a child I spent at the Barnes and Noble in the Aurora neighborhood I grew up in. I can't even begin to describe all the lovely bits of this movie without rambling on for hours, and even rambling wouldn't fully get the feeling across for this film. I am a very non-verbal person, always using my hands, my face, and my expressions to tell a lot of my story for me.

This movie was in its' own way, my cult classic I grew up with. As I got older, it got put on the shelf where it collected dust, and I remember having turned twenty-one years old, and I pulled it out to watch, and my life was so different from where it had started and where it ended up at the time and even where it is now, and I remember watching it there, curled up in the corner of a ratty old couch that was my bedroom.... And I felt nothing for it. I didn't even finish it. It was like one of those sub conscience wake up calls, or like my conscience calling me from far away: asking me where did that part of me go that was comfortable just being myself? Where did that girl go that didn't have to act hard all the time? Where did that girl go that even when there wasn't someone else she was interested in romantically, she still had the dream of someone else?... Where did she go? I think that was one of the first poignant self evaluations I had of myself and the former life I was committed to.
I spent four years drifting away from this core classic of myself, and I am happy to say, it only took me two years to fight my way back. One of the emails that Meg Ryan and Joe Fox (tom hanks) share in the beginning epitomizes my sad poor pathetic addiction to Starbucks coffee and makes me laugh at myself thinking there is probably much more truth to what he says than I'd like to expand on, but I'm o.k. just laughing about it and considering it probably really is the truth, and I'm not going to fight it. It's who I am, and I am content with who I am, so why should I feel bad about it?

So, I will leave you with his opinion of people and Starbucks and I now realize it is one o'clock in the morning, so have a peaceful rest of your night.

"The whole reason of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. So, people who don't know what the they're doing or who on earth they are, can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee, but an absolutely defining sense of self."

~Joe Fox- Tom Hanks

And I have to say, the movie ends with Over the Rainbow.... It isn't the version by Iz, but I don't think it existed yet, so the Harry Nilson version just had to suffice in the meantime, and maybe the Iz version did already exist, I just didn't know about it yet.. But I know about it now, and they say when you find the real thing to hold onto it, so I will. And I wish you the same.

Hope Springs..... Eternal

Good Early Morning my loves, it is the "madrugada" as they say in Spanish. I am awake and just thinking, about cycles that we go through and cycles of the year, cycles of emotions, cycles, cycles, cycles.. Around and around in my head.  

I had begun to watch this movie Hope Springs with Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones, and Steve Carrel with my grandparents a few weeks ago. It is about a married couple that have been married for thirty plus years, and the wife realizes she needs more from their relationship, she wants intimacy again, something they lost somewhere along the road. Meryl plays the wife, Kay, Jones is the cantankerous husband, and Carrel is the therapist.  I didn't get to finish watching it with my grandparents,  but I knew I had to see how it ended, so I purchased it, and having now laughed and cried to Hope Springs in the madrugada. 

I am always thinking about the same topics it seems, just from different new angles, re-evaluating how I understand something. Sometimes that gets me in trouble, because I drift away from the true foundation understandings of certain things that really don't require any further verification or definition. I am getting better at not doing that: a lot of that I now know is stemming from trust issues.... I have a hard time trusting.. Pretty much anything and everything, and unfortunately everyone. In some ways, it is a good safety mechanism to protect myself [probably the very reason the issue manifested within me: self preservation]... But, in other ways, not being able to trust cripples me, horribly.   

  I have learned that when you finally find people that love you, and you love them back, you Must trust them: you must commit that to them; because, I guarantee there will be times you go through different experiences and you may not understand exactly the choices your loved ones are making, but you Must trust them to know that while you may not "understand" completely, you do know they love you, and you love each other, and you know they would never do anything to hurt you. 

 

I am going to leave you with the therapists closing monologue that talks about marriage, but just makes me think about how what he says just applies to life in general; and how when you set out to do something because it's the right thing and you have love driving you on.. You have only wonderful things to look forward to. I think about how for so long I was tied down to the life I had, and it wasn't till I moved to Texas and decided to marry and commit to the life I wanted for myself that  I really started living a life I can be proud of. Before, the relationship between me and my life was like one of the couples that never should have gotten married, I did things based on emotional decisions and none of them worked out.  The last thing Steve Carrel says is so true, and I am going to remind myself of it whenever I feel like giving up. 

 "I have patients who never should have gotten married..and you are not those people.. Even great marriages have terrible years. So bad that you're tempted to just give up. But don't. Hold on. There will come a time when you will look back at this moment as the prelude to something fuller and richer than you've ever dreamed."

That being said, I hope you are able to sleep well my dears and live the life you want. I hope so many good things to those that seek the better life. Hold on. There are always just bumps in the road, none of them have been in vain. Good morning my darlings and to all a beautiful day. 

The Flintstones Christmas Carrol

Good early morning my dears, it is still night out and admitably too early.. or late (depending on your point of view) to be properly blogging, but here I am regardless of any and all those factoids. Here I am a quarter gallon of ice cream down, two movies played twice over back to back, and just thinking. ...

Anytime I watch these children's movies, I love the cozy and comfortable feeling they possess. I don't know what it is so much that strikes me at my core when I watch them, but the best way to describe it I guess is I love the feeling of "home" I get when I watch children's movies or any holiday flicks I particularly enjoy (example Fred Claus.)

I spend time with family, but I realize I don't hold it in a place in my heart that when I reminisce about fun times, family get togethers pop up to mind. Why? Why don't I, I sincerely ask myself?... I do love my family, and I don't Not like spending time with my family.. So why don't family memories hold higher regard in my inner affections more?...

My aunt asked me if holidays when I was younger were fun, and I replied honestly no. I didn't have much of a social life, I was home schooled (not to say that automatically means I did no social activities) and I really had no lasting friends or typical social grouping with a consistent bunch of people my age, until I was about sixteen years old. So, any family shin dig was painful for me: I was shy, I knew nothing of pop culture or any similar activities to talk about or really do with any of my cousins, I was very self conscience about eating in front of people (not to mention growing up I was raised according to certain religious views not to eat ham/pork, which of course was inevitably the main/second main course of any holiday dinner.) So, summed up, family get togethers as a kid only seemed to confirm to me more so every year how isolated and different from everyone else I was, and I would spend the day rotating between living rooms and bathrooms, trying to sneak out to pet the dogs, and avoiding the kitchen unless I became so hungry I just had to at least pass through for something to drink. Now that I am older, I think how sad that is, I know that for many, the kitchen is a place of warmth and safety, a place of comfort and for family; and, the fact I felt I had to avoid it, makes me realize how blatantly now I see those were the things I was missing. I am not trying to wallow in self-pity nor am I angry at the way I was raised; yes, I recognize now, childhood holidays spent with holidays should not be spent that way, but.. it is what it is, and what it was... And to pull a paragraph from a book I am reading,
           "Of course, as a child, I couldn't see it that way. It was just embarrassing and painful to me- ... I can't tell you how much I hated it..... But now, at least to some extent, I can understand...I'm not saying that it was right. It left me with scars. It was hard for a child. But what's done is done. Don't let it bother you. One good thing it did was to make me tougher. I learned firsthand that it's not easy making your way through this world. ... I'm going to go on living one way or another. I think I can do a better job of it from now on, without such pointless detours.... I don't know what you want to do. Maybe you just want to go on sleeping quietly, without ever waking up again. That's what you should do if you want to. I can't stand in your way if that's what you are hoping for. All I can do is let you go on sleeping. In any case, I wanted to say all this to you- to tell you what I have done so far in life and what I am thinking. Maybe you would have preferred not to hear of this, and if that's the case, I'm sorry to have inflicted it on you. Anyhow, I have nothing more to tell you. I've pretty much said everything I thought I ought to say. I won't bother you anymore. Now you can sleep as much as you want."

Taken from the novel 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami.

So... trying to organize all my thoughts and put them together in a nice, neat package....

I remember not too long ago, I was spending time with the man I fell in love with, the man I am still in love with.. and he was heartbroken he had to spend a holiday from his  family.... And at the time, I didn't understand... My life never had experienced any reason to be hurt and sad to be away from family on a holiday: that was my reality, and like with most "realities" every individual is mistaken in believing their is the true reality... So, what am I saying?....

I told my aunt yesterday, well... more like asked her, "Wow.... I never thought about it that way... What must it be like to feel heartbroken over such a thing?... what must it be like to be torn up about Not being with family for a holiday?...."

And then I answered my own question:  I really do know what that feels like, because that's what it feels like to be away from the one you love.

So, my loves, I hope that whatever family you have or whomever is closest to you, you are granted the wonderful gift to be with them. Some just pray for their dream to happen, and for good to happen, but I hope that you are wise enough to Make it happen: happiness is worked for... and where there is hope there is trial. No, happiness is earned without trial.

All those seemingly simple things like home, warmth, and love that children's movies revolve around may Seem basic, but they are the hardest things to accomplish, and maybe nowadays everyone is too busy grasping at a bigger picture someone handed down to them, they've lost sight of what makes us all tick and why.....

Never forget, I won't, I can't. With much love and sincerity my darlings,

Read Riding Hood

The Princess Bride

   

     



      It is a balmy autumn afternoon, I am finally not just off work, but finally home after sitting in traffic for an hour. Oh yea!

So, I finished eating my humble dinner, feeding zee pooch and am now going to blog and tell you all lovely peepsters about a movie you are probably familiar with already, but I'd like to ramble on about anyway.

 I am watching the Princess Bride. This movie was made in 1987, a year before I was even born. It is about a country girl, Buttercup, that falls in love with the farm boy, Wesley who loved her before she ever even realized he did. They must overcome the obstacles of time, separation, pirates, fire swamps, huge rodents, torture, eels, six-fingered men, and an evil prince. But despite it all, they overcome it all because they have true-love. And as Wesley tells Buttercup when she asks how he can be so sure they will see each other again, "This is true love.... Do you think this happens every day?"

This movie is random and brilliant. Cary Elwes and Robin Wright Penn are still young and fresh faced. True love conquers all. It is refreshing to watch in its uniqueness and comforting in its charismatic nostalgia. It is sweet optimism in its childlike faith and belief in the everlasting emotion of true love.

I love this movie. I don't have much more to say. I'm just enjoying watching the movie. So, I hope your Sunday is hope filled and optimism abounds to carry you into a productive and positive Monday. .

Good evening my darlings,


Read Riding Hood