Cat In The Hat... Nigel Strawberry..... Bleh bleh bleh....

Hello my dears, 

 it seems as the faster time moves for me, the less I write. I used to write to fill the time- to fill the silent void- or to silence the demons in my head. And now..... writing would be because I actually want to write.. 

And I do want to write. And I do want to read my books. And I do want to paint and draw and watercolor and sew plushies and watch movies. 

Let me tell you a story.. 

It's about a little girl who grew up sheltered from the world... All she knew was what she grew up with. She never went to public school. She never really had "normal" friends and relationships. All she had were her books- her movies- her sister- her imagination- her sadness- her self. She had been told that the world was evil and not safe and corrupting and that you "had to be careful." And yet, with all that- she always looked at other people out and about and some of them seemed happy- and she wanted that for herself- she felt strange and weird- she felt like an outsider- and she would see other children- and then teenagers as she got older- hanging out together- laughing together- experiencing life together- and she was still alone- laughing alone- crying alone.....

Reflecting on herself- she realized she spent all her time with books and movies- inanimate objects- they couldn't laugh and cry with her- they couldn't see her- interact with her- they were just .....things... And she became angry and frustrated.. and she threw all them aside  because she felt they were keeping her from living her life. 

So, she went out in search of this "life" she felt she wasn't living.. and she tried to be like everyone else- do what other people did... at first it was exciting and new, but the more she tried to be happy like everyone else- the sadder and even more alone she felt- because the more she realized she was trying to be something she wasn't. The whole time she had been trying to be someone else- rather than herself... 

It took a lot of heartbreak... and a lot of heartache to find herself- to find honesty- and like herself.... to be happy with who she was.... 

I'd like to tell you the story has a happy ending... but that's the funny thing about real life.... It doesn't end until we die... and until we die... it's never just a "happy ending." There will be hardship and struggles and pain... but there will also be love and beauty and happiness. 

The story isn't over yet. The girl grew into  a woman and is still living her life- finding herself- creating herself- creating art- because she is art- and life is an art.

It's funny to me how all she wanted to do was have a "real life." And the whole time she had no idea that she had been living her real life the whole time- SHE was the only one who couldn't see it for the longest time. 

I never would wish heartache on anyone- I only wish good things for you all my dears... But I know life has a way of handing out heartache no matter what. But I wish you to hold on. I have weathered enough storms to know they don't last forever- storms have an end. because time never stops moving forward. I know it's not easy to hold on. I know it isn't, but if we didn't keep trying- we will never know if it will get better. And it will- it may take a while- but that's life- that's art. 

goodnight my loves. 

create some art. make something beautiful . 

sincerely, 

Read Riding Hood

So many movies... so little time

     So..... i haven't blogged in a while. I am tired. I am probably just lazy. How hard can it be to just open a vein and bleed onto the keyboard my inner thoughts?.... I wish it was easier. I have watched a lot of new movies... new to me- probably not new to everyone else. They are movies from the 80's and 90's- christmas cartoons- children's cartoons- teen flicks- things I missed out on growing up. I watched and rematched them a million times now. Stuff like the Munsters (which is much older than the 80's...) but like I don't know.... a whole bunch of stuff.

The more time passes by though... the more I realize my life is getting away from me. About the time I feel sorted out.... something happens to make me feel like I really had no grasp on everything at all.
I was talking with a coworker about all the people that have come and go at my job... and then a certain name of a certain missed person popped up. And my coworker just simply said he misses him...... well, I miss him too.

Is life ever really sorted out without love?
I am going to go watch my Munsters Christmas special and be sad, because that's what i feel like doing. and tomorrow I hope I feel better. and I know I may not feel better. but i will soldier on. That's what I seem to be best at- surviving. I'm not really good at living. I'm just really good at surviving.
at some point I would like to live- not just survive. That is my goal.

goodnight  .

sincerely,
read riding hood

My Silver Lining Playbook

Good evening my dears, usually I write about a movie or such, but today I wanted to share a poem I wrote about/to my departed car. I know it is just a "thing," but my cars hold a lot of sentimental value to me. I depend on them for so much, it seems I get attached to them. So, here it is... it started out as a journal entry and I felt like sharing it.

my poor baby Honda Civic- I donated it today to military families in need-it will be a tax write off.

I took out all the air freshers-

the ice cup

the starbucks cup

the cat tails

the fake poppy

the high heels

the lint roller(s)

the basketball

my sunglasses

my bags for goodwill

my seashells

It was quite a few little nothings

that meant a whole lot of everyone thing

once.....

upon a time-

a broken pregnant sad little girl's cars' engine welded together
leaving her
stranded.

family leant her a hand so
she could
get to work
keep her job-her benefits-
her chin up

she got her silver lining-
and it carried her through quite a few
things. ...:
across states-
to the rescue-
back-home-again.

goodbye my silver lining-

i hope you will be someone else's silver lining-

i know you will-

you took care of me, when
I needed it the most.

take care of my ghosts will you?

I'll miss them something one fierce

as I will you.

you lit up my night sky

at its' darkest pointe.

i will always love you.

always, my silver lining.

we'll always have the river.



love,

read riding hood

Song of the Sea

It is getting late... well, late for me anyway, my loves. It is almost nine o'clock, past my bedtime, and I am up trying to watch the last half of this soulful little film- Song of the Sea.

This animation is by the same people that did The Secret of Kells, a film by Tom Moore. It seems so long ago that I reviewed that film. .....  but I remember it like yesterday... It was a warm spring day, the window was open to let a breeze in, and my laptop was resting on my stomach...... I remember it felt so melancholy... It felt like one of those lemon yellow days of spring that seem frozen in time, that never seem to end, that feel as if a week worth of time was spread in the space of eight hours of daylight.

So much has changed since then.... with me... and I can tell with the production studio as well... I remember the Secret of Kells had beautiful animation, but I yearned for a meatier plot and script. ....

well, This Song of the Sea proves the studio has matured and blossomed, and created a, not only beautiful gallery of animation, but put forth a satisfactory offering of story and characters.

The story takes place in Ireland.

It is about a brother and sister on an adventure, and about selkies... If you don't know what a selkie is, it's like the irish myth version of mermaids. [Another popular story of selkies is Ondine- an old classic recently made into a film with Colin Ferrell.]

I really don't  want to delve much more into the plot, it is rather simple, but it is compelling and worth the attention, and if you have the time, this is a pleasant way to spend an hour and half enjoying this children's film. Simply perfect.

I am sleepy and dozing off, I wish you all a good night, and to all..... (of course) a good night<3




with sweet dreams,

Read Riding Hood

Interstellar

Hello, my dears… I am sitting enjoying a perfect noon breeze at the river and pondering the last movie I watched late last night. It was Interstellar directed by Christopher Nolan who also directed Inception and the latest Batman trilogy with actor Christian Bale cast as Batman. 

If there are two things that Christopher Nolan is good at, it is 

1. creating thought provoking material
2. leaving you with a question. 

I had no idea until I watched it what this movie was about, I only recognized the recently released blu-ray cover image. 

It Begins with the Earth dying: the crops are slowly failing one by one… We have advanced technologically, and yet now we have lost our ability to create organic food/farm. Former astronaut, Cooper (Mattew McConaughey) leaves NASA to return to his father-in-laws farm with his two children to run it. While having a discussion on the porch, Cooper states, “Well, we used to look up to the sky and wonder at our place in the stars… Now we just look down and worry about our place in the dirt.”

I don’t know how to describe this movie to you… it is about finding other planets to call home… it is about love… it is about science and quantum physics and a spiritual force “they” that seems to somehow be everywhere. … it 

It is probably not everyones cup of tea…. It leaves you grasping at details, the script is littered with scientific probability- all Christopher Nolan trademarks… Another difference feeling wise between this and Inception is the pace of the movie. Interstellar drags- it patiently-methodically takes one step after another towards its’ conclusion- slow and steady. Partly this is because the plot of the movie twists time and space- with relativity and spanning decades in certain parts where only minutes and hours passed elsewhere. As a bigger picture- it is pure genius… and pure torture. How true that both go hand in hand. 

I can’t really talk much about the plot, without giving a lot of it away, so I will let you attempt to watch it… But I will leave you with the largest thing I took away from this movie. 

I watched this movie with my recently married cousin, who is an avid movie lover like myself. He has an awesome tv and sound system all set up in their cozy new apartment and I sat down not sure what to expect from this movie. But as the minutes ticked by and I fell deeper and deeper in love with it, I realized something profound, that may sound so simple but to me has taken me till now to get… 

I always thought that I could make people love something if I loved it… Isn’t that a universal struggle? The wanting to be understood and of others acceptance of our lives and our tastes?  

This movie is really wonderful. I love it. I want to buy it for everyone so they can watch it and see and appreciate all the beauty in it that I see and feel in it… But I realized… we aren’t all on the same path… we are all at different points of our lives…. we all have things-books-people-movies-places that are speaking to each and everyone of us individually at this time in our life… And no matter how much this movie means to me, someone else may not be able to appreciate it because they are at a different point in their own life story… And for once I am in Love with That… That being points and places that other people including you dear reader will experience this feeling- this emotion of passion and wonder-especially(!) not for this same movie and for similar things- but for  opposite things and anything and something else right now in your life that speaks to your soul like this movie did to mine. 

I want to tell you to enjoy every  moment of that- whatever it is that fills you with wonder and amazement… Whatever makes you feel inspired and makes your mind come alive- go after that- It  is a beautiful and amazing feeling- gravity can cross time and space- and so can love. It never goes away. It is always there…. a wormhole- a sphere in this 2D image of time, keeping us grounded and connected to what matters in our lives. 

Never stop looking to the stars my loves. 

Sincerely, 

Read Riding Hood 

Into the Woods

Hello my dears,

True to my word here I am to tell you about an awesome movie- Into The Woods.

O.k. I haven't even finished it... Ive barely started it... and I wish to tell you a little bit about myself first.


O.k. When I started this blog, I didn't know I was an artist.. I didn't know who or what I was.. other than lost and alone. I just spent my days remembering and pining away... for what?... lost love, wanted love... happiness... lost in melancholy.  

How much I've changed since then.

And I go from watching Spongebob to Into the Woods... In that aspect I haven't changed. I can be a child one moment, a woman the next.

And I am happy to say I am watching Into the Woods, a musical based off some fairy tales all entwined together..... My most powerful impression- Meryl Streep. The woman is a bonafide genius.

So, excuse me, I am going back to finish this amazing awesomeness.

Sincerely, apologetically,

Read Riding Hood

Spongebob SquarePants Movie

Hello my dears,

at this point, I don't know of anyone that follows my blog.. and sometimes I seriously ask myself who exactly it is that I'm writing to... And I guess, I feel like even if no one is reading this right now, for some reason, I just like knowing it is out there, that if randomly anyone comes across this and needs it, it is there. It's out there. It's out there to be found.

So, my dears,

here I am again blogging about.... Spongebob..... and not even the most recent film, I am talking about the first movie that came out some years earlier.  It is about Mr. Krabs who is opening a second Krusty Krab 2 restaurant, and Spongebob thinks he will get promoted to the new manager. I'm sure I can't ruin this movie for you, because the odds you will go out and watch this is very low.... I realize it is not a sophisticated adult film. It.... is a kids movie full of the subtle hidden innuendo etc.... BUT just in case, I won't say anything else to ruin it for you.

I used to watch more adult movies and they depressed me a lot... like... a lot. And I realize the more I blog, how I revert more and more to watching kids movies. They are simple. They .... yea. Are just simple.

 Now I'm not saying there don't come along adult movies I enjoy.. hmmmm.... I need to set some goals here to review some of those adult movies... Because there have been some recently that are very worthy of a review. ....

But ANYWAY back to Spongebob..
ya know what I love so much about Spongebob?
Other than he's a cute little sponge that lives.... in Bikini Bottom?... in a pineapple...... and has a best friend who is a starfish....

He is a goofy goober.


 He is just himself. and he cares about his work. He takes so much pride in it, it's ridiculous. He is passionate about what he does.... he is so innocently residing in the "adult world." He tries to bring out the child in the pessimistic grouchy Squidward tentacles.


Spongebob can get drunk off ice-cream.... That is an awesome quality.

and yet, there are still some pretty serious elements to Spongebob that is not light and fluffy.. Like King Neptune is convinced that Mr. Krabs stole his crown and is going to roast Mr. Krabs for it. ... Well, I don't know about you, but roasting someone with a fiery trident isn't really kid material... When I think about it, it makes me a bit queasy.. (and you're thinking, geez, if that makes her queasy, what does some of the stuff on the news do to her.... yea, it makes me crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head... but anyway, back to spongebob).....

Spongebob's first movie deals with elements like good work ethic, and compassion, and being comfortable with who you are and finding that inner strength you sometimes have to dig deep for.
Dont' underestimate the value of Spongebob's message... and even if you don't think you can glean anything substantial from it, maybe at least you could just get a laugh out of it. It makes me giggle- and who doesn't need a giggle?

So, have a good night, have a giggle on me- and sweet dreams my little fishies.

Sincerely,
Read Riding Hood

Christmas and The Interview

Hello my dears,

It is a new year! A whole year to fill with blog posts, or at least the whole year full of opportunity to fill it with posts. ... I digress... per the norm.

I hope all of your holidays were enjoyable; mine actually were. This Christmas was one of the best I've ever had. Usually I spend my holidays lost between wanting to love and loathe them. The holidays usually are just a reminder to me of how "un-picture-perfect" my life has always been. The holidays always just pointed out to me just how different I have celebrated them compared to others.

And looking at them now, I see that has been my ingratitude for all that I have.

I have never spent a Thanksgiving or Christmas without food. I have never gone without presents.

Maybe I have had some weird family moments, but honestly, who hasn't?

Maybe I didn't grow up with Santa Claus, or Rudolph, or magic......

But that's o.k.

Because I did grow up with love. And I am grateful for that. Love is everything. Truly it is. I wish love for you all.

I meant to get on here and talk to you about this recent debacle over the movie The Interview, and per the norm got distracted talking about something corny.

Well, I finally watched The Interview in its' entirety. I must say, it had some funny moments. It definitely had some stupid moments. It is just another Seth Rogen, James Franco comedy/drame/bromance movie. I read some people thought this movie actually shed a positive light on Kim Jong un, but I think those people probably fell asleep about an hour and twenty minutes into the movie right before Mr. un showed his true colors... Because [SPOILER ALERT] YES, they portrayed him as an evil dictator in the end.
And I couldn't help but also feel as if Seth Rogen and James Franco were trying to make their own personal statement about the news media and propaganda and giving the people "what they want."

That all being said. I can see how this film is controversial- but I do believe in freedom of speech. And this is just a movie. If people are going to begin saying we should not publicate movies like this, I have to ask why they still allow the book Mein Kampf to be published? That book is voiced by one of the most evil men in history, Adolf Hiltler. We still publish his book, but we debate whether to release a satire comedy, because it is controversial?......I think priorities need to be set. Seriously.

Now...  from a movie goers perspective, this movie was funny, slow at times... I thought the Lord of the Rings comparisons were very dry and only saved by the over eccentric acting of James Franco and the sincere acting of Seth Rogen. [SPOILER ALERT] The Lord of the Rings humor finally did come together somewhat at the end when Seth Rogen loses his fingers at the end like Frodo.... But if Seth was Samwise.. Then shouldn't have James lost his fingers... not Seth?.... lol just saying.....  Anyway....

It was weird, controversial (see how I keep using that politically correct word there) and comical and stupid... and just a movie. I would not recommend this for everyone. If you want to support the "freedom of speech" I would suggest renting it off youtube etc. It is not for children. It is not a "family" movie. It does have graphic violence. But if you enjoy Seth Rogen and/or James Franco, you will probably get some entertainment out of watching this. I did.

So that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I hope you all have a beautiful rest of you weekend. I am going to try to.. and I plan to watch something less controversial, something more light hearted... like the Muppets or something.

much love my dears,

Read Riding Hood

Pick a Movie... Any movie. just not any movie.

I don't normally....
what?
write poetry...
blog at all....

I don't normally connect with people.
I don't normally.
I don't normally.
Normally.
usually.
regardless.
I do.

Movies.
They once defined eras
of me.
for me.
movies
like shutter clicks, flicking into each other,
un-seperable
stuck together.
running into each other.
all just a blur.
just a blur.
a blur.

blur. blur. blur.
everything just a blur.
movies all the same.
beginning to feel like they're all the same.
nothing is different.
all the same.
same.
usually.
regardless.
I still do.

I don't normally participate in my life.
I'm good at picking
interesting
funny
moving
emotional
films
because
usually
normally
I do.

I'm just too sad to finish this.
usually
regardless
I do.


Read Riding Hood.

Jumanji

Good Monday afternoon my dears, I know it is dreaded Monday, but I am actually off of work today and hope to share the positive vibes with you all.

I know I haven't blogged in a while. A lot of things on my mind. A lot. And one of the recent things on my mind, of course, is the death of Robin Williams. Yes, I know it seems like everyone is going on about it, and there are other people dying every day as well..... it's just .... this is a human being we all knew.... at some point we all laughed and cried with. Mr. Williams was a man that shared laughter with the world when his own heart was aching and even with fame remained humble and kind. I will miss him terribly and all the movies I looked forward to seeing him in for the years to come.

I am thinking of all the other people that pass away and none of us really pay attention to. Like in the book, The Fault in our Stars,  Hazel wonders  at how so many die every day, but only very few are widely remembered. And when Hazel is in Amsterdam and visits Anne Frank's house, she sees a book with a list of all the names of everyone like Anne lost in the Holocaust; and Hazel thinks that it would be possible to remember every human that passes away in history, if only each individual would remember three other's names.  On the list below Anne Frank, there are three different "Aron Frank"s.... and Hazel wonders who they were and about their families......

I think of all the people I know.... from my past.... lovers... friends... acquaintances...... bosses... coworkers..boyfriends... strangers.... authors.... actors......I remember many more than just three.... We all do..... And I realize just when I start to think the little people get lost in the ambiguity of it all... I realize, none of us do.. Because there is At Least one person out there that will remember you... and will remember me, and odds are there is more than one that will remember you and me... so, we all do live on, maybe not in the limelight like people like Robin Williams, but in our own lamplights in our own living rooms; in our  own kitchen dining table lights; we make up all the little starts that light up the heavens, planets are not enough by themselves.

Take comfort in that my dears. None of us are forgotten, even if not widely known about.  I love you and hope this Monday is not a drudge to be slogged through, but just a peaceful day leaning into fall with a cool breeze, an overcast sky, and a paper bag lunch to remind you of those school days gone by.
Sweet day dreams my loves,

Read Riding Hood

Penelope

Good Sunday afternoon everyone! It is a pleasant enough day, and I am just bursting to tell you about this movie I watched yesterday. It is a glorious and wonderful and sweet and .... odd... and of course cheesy.
 It is called Penelope.

It is about a girl born into a family that is cursed. Any girl born into the family will be born with a pig nose until the curse can be broken by marrying into high society.
For many generations, only male heirs were born... But down the line just about the time everyone has forgotten about the curse, Penelope arrives.. and of course, with the pig snout. Her mother does everything in her power to protect her from the paparazzi and keeps her locked away from any nosy reporters. By the time Penelope is of age, her mother arranges for suitable male suitors to be interviewed to be engaged with Penelope in hopes to end the curse. The boys are not allowed to see Penelope right away, until they have been briefed on how much they will inherit upon becoming engaged. But... "unfortunately" upon seeing Penelope's snout, they all run as far from her as they can. ....

Until one day, due to circumstances, one suitor does not run away.

So begins the venturing out into the world for Penelope.
and brace yourself, I am about to supply spoilers.

She asks the suitor who doesn't run away to marry her and break the curse.... But you see,  unbeknownst to Penelope, he knows he isn't of suitable lineage to break the curse and tells her he can't... "marry her," is the assumption. So, Penelope heartbroken runs away from home to explore the world, and in turn, when he realizes she is chasing her dreams, he is inspired himself to find his place in the world, as well.

They end up finding their places in the world, and they find their ways back to each other.

And I love it most because she realizes, she doesn't need someone to marry her to break the curse, she likes herself just the way she is.

*sigh*  I love that. I wish every girl, every woman to realize, they don't need a man to "save" them.

Every person is capable of finding their place in the world, finding themselves. And also finding love. Because, as everyone knows, finding themselves and finding love are two different things. Sometimes the timing of love is off... and has to be put on the back burner while busy getting oneself in order.... but true love finds its' way, in it's own time.

So have faith my darlings.  Love will find its' way. I know it. I promise it will. I would never promise something I don't believe in. Everything will be ok. I know it.

Have a good night my dears.

Sincerely,
Read Riding Hood

The Princess and the Frog

Good afternoon my dears, I have been so overwhelmed the last week... weeks... I have lost track of the days. I always seem to feel one day ahead too many, and by the time I land on the right day, I start second guessing myself. I'm exhausted; but I will say there is satisfaction in hard work. The satisfaction for me comes from working a hard day, and the following day learning from my mistakes and doing it better the next time. It truly is a luxury to go to work and know that if you make a mistake once, you are given the chance to learn from it. Life is not s
o forgiving. *sigh* But I digress.

I hope you all are having a much more relaxed and enjoyable afternoon. I am now, plopped on my bed, lying like broccoli........ vegged out to my hearts content. Lately I have been zoning out to the children's Disney movie The Princess and the Frog (which I will commence after chatting briefly with you lovies.)

The title says the summary of the classic fairy tale of the prince turned into a frog and only the kiss of a princess can change him back into a human. Disney chose the setting of New Orleans, and the prince is a playboy visiting to marry a rich daughter of a millionaire because his wealthy parents cut him off for being a leach. So, he either marries into wealth or finds a job.... He decides to marry into wealth... Unfortunately for him he runs into a voodoo charlatan who in seeking his own riches, turns the prince into a frog....
Meanwhile! There is a waitress, who loves cooking ever since she was a girl. She has worked two jobs her whole life saving to buy a restaurant, and one night while catering a masquerade ball put on for the visiting prince, she dresses in a princess gown and happens to meet a frog who happens to be the prince.... The prince mistakes her for a princess and makes a deal to help her buy her restaurant if she will kiss him and turn him back human..... So, she kisses him, but instead of turning him human, it just turns her into a frog too.... and so the mayhem begins.

It is a cute movie with catchy tunes and something I am totally too old to be watching, but do I look like I care?... Well, no... I do not. It is a sweet and funny movie with a firefly in love with a star he mistakes for another firefly who he "only sees at night, and she don't say much..."

I know I am like the waitress, I am used to working so much, but I don't know how to have fun, to go out and be social. The people that know the waitress, her name is Tiana, tell her, "girl, all you do is work!".....I feel like that's me. But that's just how I am, I have a goal and I know what I want. And it really is true that when you know what you want, everything is just bumps in the road.

And I wish the same for you all. I hope that you know what makes you happy, and you go for it... And even if you find out later, it isn't what you thought it'd be or maybe your dream just needs a little tweaking, don't be afraid to go with the flow of it. Find what makes you happy, I hope you do. Have a beautiful rest of your day darlings

Sincerely,
Read Riding Hood

Saving Mr. Banks

Good afternoon, my darlings. Time is just flying away from me. I don't know where it is going, it is always going.......  

So, if you haven't heard, there is a recent movie just released on blu-ray, titled Saving Mr. Banks.

It is about the true story of how the original film, Mary Poppins, came into existence.  It is about how Walt Disney, the man himself, pursued the author of the Mary Poppins novels for children for twenty years to sign over the rights of the books to evolve them into a live animation revolution.

Saving Mr. Banks begins after twenty years of pursuing and when Mrs. Travers, the author, is to fly to Los Angeles, Hollywood, to collaborate with Disney to overview the script before signing the rights over.  Poor Mrs. Travers is terrified of them destroying her original character; what author isn't terrified of that? But in this case, it isn't just a "character" to Mrs. Travers: Mary Poppins is much more than just a character; Mary Poppins is her family; Mary Poppins is all that's left of the real live family that disappointed her. She cannot betray her last remaining tidbit of memory over to people that would misunderstand it and translate it into something it's not.

I don't want to tell you anymore about the story, because I want you to see it for yourself. I don't know if you  will like this movie or not, it may not be your cup of tea, with a spoonful of sugar or not....  But this movie is something deeper than expected, than I expected.

This movie is about how life can disappoint us, people can disappoint us... Even people with good hearts, and the best plans can go astray and disappoint us.

This movie is about how we love and forgive people dearly in spite of their incredible faults.

This movie is about how Mrs. Travers, as a little girl, was disappointed by life when she lost her very loving father, who subsequently was also an alcoholic.

This movie is about never losing one's imagination and dreams despite the disappointment that finds us.

This movie is about all of us; about all of our sad tales, our sad histories....  It is about how we cannot control what happened in the past, but we get to finish the story. We get to let go of all the past and all its' skeleton's and create a beautiful future not dictated by our pasts.  ..... But the only way possible of accomplishing this is by forgiving ourselves our very own mistakes; until we can be kind enough to ourselves to do that, we are only disappointing ourselves for the rest of our lives.

For those of us who have passed on from this life, it is too late to grant this forgiveness. But to all of us living, there is always hope of a new ending. There is always beauty and wonder to be found in this world; just because you may not have discovered it the first adventure of your life doesn't mean you were foolish, doesn't mean it was a waste, doesn't mean everything up to disappoint's point was useless; it just means you were brave enough with enough heart to search for your dreams.

This movie is about granting yourself the freedom to pick yourself up and try to find your dreams again. Don't be so hard on yourself for failing to find them the first time around.... We all have failed. I have failed more times than I can count.

I always struggle forgiving myself for failing. ... I tell myself I must be too stupid and inadequate to find my dreams... But then I always come back to realizing, it is never a shame to have loved: it is never a shame to have trusted and put hope in any dream, even after those dreams have become a disappointment. It would only be a shame if I were to never to try and hope in any dreams ever again.


well, I am almost confident I am overly passionate about this film and you might not find it as satisfying as myself. But despite that, I am pleased you spent this time making it through this blog, I am pleased you took the time to come listen to me. I hope in some small way, maybe I am able to share some of the hope I chase after with you all.
I wish you all a beautiful life, my dears.

with all my love,
Read Riding Hood

The Secret World of Arrietty

Good morning my dears! It is only ten o'clock in the morning, and I have already ventured out into the world and come back to the roost. It is cold, and I am already pondering making some popcorn to accompany me whilst I watch my latest new find: The Secret World of Arrietty. It is based off the children's book "The Borrowers" about little people that live in our houses. You ever wonder where something is that you have misplaced? Well, it probably wasn't misplaced, a Borrower probably "borrowed" it. ....

I still remember watching the 90's movie with John Goodman "The Borrowers." I loved the books as a kid and the movie, and it's a pleasure to be watching this studio Ghibli jewel.

Arrietty is almost 14 and going on her first expedition to "borrow" and along the way is seen by a human boy.

There is a scene where the mother is worrying about Arrietty going on her first outing, and the father says, "she needs to learn to survive once we aren't around anymore." ...

And upon venturing into the big open house, Arrietty wonders out loud, "What is this place?... It's so big?.."  I don't even have to be a two inch tall girl to have asked that question myself looking at the big world around me sometimes. Sometimes it is so easy to feel like just a small speck in this great big world we live in. I like to feel that way sometimes; it can put a lot of things in perspective and simplify things. It makes me feel like a little kid again.

That is one of the things I like most about being a kid, is I can look at things for how they are, not for all the complications I sometimes needlessly add on being an adult.

Have a simply beautiful day all,
Read Riding Hood

Ted

So, let me start this off by saying Ted, is my "Eat, Pray, Love" for this point in my life. ....  And maybe that sounds like a weird thing to say, but let me explain.....

Up till now I have put off seeing this movie Ted, because I knew the summary was, "can a guy grow up past his childhood teddy bear and become a man?..." and .. I wasn't ready to confront that question. Movies really affect me and oddly enough I almost feel superstitious about them... like the ones I end up watching are trying to tell me something and having confessed that, I didn't want to watch this movie and have it warp me. I didn't want to watch it and it have some wimpy "feel good" ending that was out of touch with the harsh reality of life I am familiar with.. But on the other hand, I didn't want it to have some jaded "pessimistic" ending either...... Seriously.... I need .. I needed and I need something in the middle.... Yes, there is harsh reality in life, but there are feel good moments too.. and up to this point in my life, it has only been either one far end of the spectrum or the other, either too "happy go lucky" or just "horrible."... But there has been one moment in my life that wasn't extreme polar opposites and it was something that just snuck up on me and ..ever since  then I've been trying to find my balance again;  I fell in love. Not infatuation. Not obsession. Not a love affair, that "i love you" was unspoken and realized until too late..... No, I fell in real love... The kind of love,  you tell them every chance you get; the kind of love you show up just to surprise them; the kind of love you let them go; the kind of love where you don't have to explain yourself.... The kind of love that it doesn't matter what you could possibly say or do, you will still love that other person.
How does one recover some such wonder? There is no recovering. And afterwards I have been struggling between the old me, the girl used to only highs and lows, and becoming the woman that is confident and not teetering on the edge constantly. I have just felt like a pin ball bouncing back and forth from pessimism back to optimism.... and talking with a counselor, she told me I'm not the only one who goes through this. Lots of people think if life doesn't hand them exactly "this and this and this" well, then they bounce back to the opposite end of the spectrum... I
don't know..

So, I finally watched this movie. Ted. By myself. and it was exactly what I needed. a happy medium in-between.
Ted is a teddy bear given as a gift to a friendless little boy. The little boy makes a wish that they would be friends forever, and the bear comes to life and remains his best friend as he grows up into adulthood.
The whole movie is everyone trying to find that "somewhere in-between place."
The boy/man played by Mark Walberg is trying to find balance between still being a little kid and being the man who loves his girlfriend.
The girlfriend is trying to find what makes her happy despite everyone else's opinion of her life and at the same time figuring out what she isn't willing to live with.
And Ted, is trying to figure out where he belongs in the picture and even wonders if he belongs in the picture at all anymore.

 Every single one of them does the pin ball action.

The boy/man decides it's either Ted or his girlfriend...
The girlfriend decides it's either her or Ted,
 and Ted decides, it's either himself or the girlfriend...

All their similar decisions all add up to, choosing one over the other...

But that's so extreme. ....
Working through all the issues, the guy realizes he does love his girlfriend and wants to take responsibility and marry her,
Ted realizes he still needs to be in the guys life, but as a better supportive friend, and
the girlfriend realizes she loves the guy for who he is, and while she doesn't just want to be friends, she realizes the friendship her boyfriend has with Ted is a part of who the man she loves is, and she doesn't want that part of the man she loves to go away... if Ted went away, her boyfriend wouldn't be the same person she loved in the first place........  

So, they all find a realistic happy, but not perfect, medium that works for them
(notice I said works for them... not everyone else... they found the solution that works for them..)


And that is me, right now... I know what I want, and everything else is just a part of it that will work itself all into place as long as I do what's right for me, because when I do what's right for me, the people that matter around me will do what's right for themselves and it will all fall into place.... And it will just work in it's happy-medium/but-not-perfect sort of way...

I heard this thing once that at the time I didn't quite understand, but now makes perfect sense.

"We are all just one small adjustment away from who we are meant to be."

At the time, I didn't understand... but now I do.
When one path reaches a "dead-end" I used to think my whole life had to go down an entirely different road; I thought I would have to go either right or left... I had to go either up or down.... But in reality, it isn't about finding "up" or "down..." It's about me finding what works, finding hidden passages, making stairs that change to where I need them to go, forging dirt roads and repaving old turn arounds and just taking mindful steps to where is right for myself and letting everything else fall into place.. ...It's about finding a comfortable balance between up and down, not Exact middle either, just a grey place in-between the black and white of this world; it's finding that grey area that if I hit it just right, I will find that silver lining that will shine through when I need it to.
I know now that silver linings are like butterflies.... I don't always see them, and trying to pin them down only kills them. But when I let them be free, the ones that are meant to be come back to alight on my shoulder when I least expect it. Silver linings are like rainbows, they're pointless to chase, I just have to have faith that if I pay attention, they'll be there after the rain has stopped.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Hello my dear fellow bloggers and readers and instagramers and anyone else who meanders through here; it is officially the new year of 2014, the Chinese year of the horse. I always like this feeling at the beginning of the new year, like a fresh new breeze is blowing through, almost like I can sense the new possibilities awaiting me in the coming year. I lived for so long in a rut, just staying the same.. But now I have a taste for change; it may not always be what I was expecting or be something I would ever ask for, but sometimes it ends up being better and more satisfying than anything I could have imagined or asked for in the first place.

I am back to taking myself to the movies alone. Of course it isn't as satisfying as it would be to go with someone else, but there are times in life I will be by myself and it is always a comfort to know I can be "alright" alone; I am not dependent on the presence of someone else for me to be "alright." *sigh* So, I took myself to see Frozen and despite there being much more singing than I anticipated, I enjoyed it. I don't know if I mentioned going and seeing it by myself, but I  guess I'll tell you again anyway.

I also went with my little cousin to go see the Secret Life of Walter Mitty with Ben Stiller, and I absolutely Adored it. Ben Stiller is the man as he merges into actually living an adventurous life rather than just day dreaming about it. In the midst of the movie you realize he was adventurous as a kid, but after the death of his father, he had to step up as the man of the family and take on the responsibility of earning a reliable income to take care of all the bills….. And finally as a grown man, he is learning when it's ok. to venture out of the guidelines and actually live life and not just hold back worrying "what if."
I am hoping to get to that point one day. I want to get to where I am established enough that when I want to go out and travel somewhere I can and not be worried that I am jeopardizing my other necessities.

This past year, I purged a lot of my old dvd's and sold them to clean out my old cluttered energy. Some of the movies that were still special to me I went and repurchased as blu-rays, but after looking at my repurchases, I realize how few I truly valued enough to re-buy…. And now that I am more choosy about what new things I buy, I see how I have changed…. I realize a lot of my old movies I owned were due to other people's suggestions and likes. I had a lot of films popular and liked by a lot of the people around me; pop culture faves, popular hits, etc.  Almost all of them now are no longer occupying space on my shelves…. I cleared them all out and they are gone. Looking at the ones that remain and now take up the space really create a clear picture of myself… None of these movies are movies that were influenced by other people, the movies on my shelf now are movies that I was curious about and went and looked for watched because I, Myself, wanted to see them, not because someone else told me they were good or great… The movies I own now are all my taste. Some of the old titles I owned resurfaced in the repurchase pile, but there are not very many. Looking at my new found personal taste, I realize none of the movies I watch are necessarily the movies with great box office reviews or backed by popular vote. I also realize I watch A Lot of kids movies. I have to wonder if I'm learning to be a kid I never really got to be, and if I am, I really believe it's helping me to be a better adult. At least I hope it is, I'd like to believe it's helping me be more compassionate and understanding and not as pessimistic of others around me, because I'm allowing myself to be that way towards my own self.
The newest addition to my shelf was the 80's pop culture hit of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It is a cheesy 80's film and simple and I love it.



That's another trait I have realized I love about anything, that doesn't even necessarily apply to movies, but to life in general as well; I love simple things, I don't need anything big or flashy or the hottest name brand, I just like what I like and it's usually simple and plain and with that I am content. How lucky am I to be able to know what I like and to be content with that?… I wish all the same for you, my dear reader. Have a beautiful day, look up and appreciate the blue sky or the clouds you see today when you do.

with much affection,
Read Riding Hood

Despicable Me 2

Good early afternoon, my dears, it felt like a bright, crisp spring day today, even though christmas is a week and a few days away. I suddenly realized how much I love the feeling of spring, of freshness, of new beginnings. I love it so dearly. And this last month, I have had to go to doctor and "airrosti" appointments (they are sort of like a form of chiropractic therapy….) and I've been sore and cranky and depressed, and I got out today after my doctor appointment, and I went to my beautiful river and just relaxed and enjoyed nature in peace. I love soaking in the hot sun with a chilly breeze.



Last night I couldn't sleep so I put on my computer the second installment of Despicable Me… and fell asleep within the first twenty minutes. LoL Not because it isn't cute, funny, and sweet… but because the first twenty minutes  made me laugh so hard, I just drifted off to sleep smiling from happiness.



I remember when the first D.M. was out in theaters, I was pregnant and I took my growing self alone atleast three times to the movie theater to watch it. You'd think it would give me nightmares that someone like Gru is capable of adopting, but instead that never crossed my mind. What was on my mind, was my growing baby, and how I suddenly decided that before my pregnancy I hadn't really enjoyed going to see children's movies in seemingly forever, and it wasn't too late to start then… So, what did I do? I went see Despicable Me three times.

I never went to see this Despicable Me 2 in the theaters, but I did buy it, and I'm glad I did. I love the crazy imagination of this story, I love Steve Carrel, and I love the softy Gru is and how much he loves those little girls.  If you like children's movies, you should give this one a try, it is pretty cute. I hope you all have a light and fresh afternoon.

Sincerely,
Read Riding Hood

The Grinch

I am tired of talking right now, especially about myself.. So, if you actually have read any of my blog, I would like to hear from you all, and tell me one of your favorite movies to watch during the holidays. Have a safe evening all, and if you don't hear from me before Thanksgiving, Have a safe Thanksgiving, I hope you have a day for relaxation, a day to do whatever you need or want to do, but haven't been able to find the time to do lately….

Sincerest wishes,
Read Riding Hood

Silver Linings Playbook

Well, my dear readers, I feel like an inspired breathing machine blogging away (almost) every day about something I've watched or been watching. I have had a busy work weekend and today I got off work and instead of just going home to fall into my unmade up bed and snooze my life away, I decided to get cleaned up, grab my computer and journal, and shtuff and go sit at Barnes and Nobles bookstore like I used to all the time and just chill with my headphones on and watch a movie, write some if I wanted, maybe read if something caught my eye. I got Starbucks and a lemon bar, plugged my computer in, plugged the headphones in and zoned out. For some reason I had the urge lately to watch the movie Silver Linings Playbook. I don't know why, I loved the book and really didn't want to watch the movie that I knew would be altered in some way from the book and have it ruin my perfect imagination of how I imagined the story to have been. But this past week I had the urge none the less, and so I just rolled with the feeling, got the movie, downloaded the digital copy yesterday, and so today as I scrolled through my iTunes movies, I saw it there and rolled right into it ……. and loved every minute of it.
The dude, I don't know if I remember it right, (Gary Cooper?…) well anyway, the main guy… he is perfect in this. I am so used to seeing him as the "cool/put together" guy that to see him as this guy that was formally undiagnosed bipolar trying to deal with his issues and failed marriage and family issues all at the same time, made him instantly endearing to me. Oh. my God. Freaking endearing. And Jennifer Lawrence, she is amazing as well. I know some people didn't like the movie, they felt there were too many holes in the plot, and that is very possible, because since my brain could have just been filling in the holes automatically with all the story plot from the book, I was able to just focus on the deliverance and presentation of the feeling behind this story and it touched me. It's about being honest and wanting to be a good person, and finding silver linings in life. Being honest is a huge part about this movie, and I loved it. Loved it loved it  loved it. Ya know, I usually have a good sense of whether I will like a movie or not, and lately I have started to analyze why I take forever to watch certain movies that I end up loving… And I think I have this complex that, since I know I will love it, I want to hold onto that anticipation as long as possible, because as soon as I watch it, I will be sad it is over and I will already be worried if I will find stories in my future that will make me feel as emotionally content as that, and I am afraid of not finding any more fulfillment.  Summarized, I am afraid of loving and letting go. Because once the movie ends, I have to get up, continue on with my day, go through all the motions, and still have the hope that I will find another movie in the future that will make me feel complete again. I love feeling the reassurance that movies give me, that can be a mirror to things I feel, so I am reassured that I'm not alone. But then there is always the fear, that I won't find that reassurance again.
It's like being in a relationship, actions keep love alive. And there is always that fear, that one day, there won't be any actions to keep that love alive.

And I'm not sure where I'm going with this, I'm already lost. But whatever. I loved this movie. Because in the end, of the book and the movie, they figure out that accepting yourself and forgiving yourself lets you accept and forgive others…. that taking care of yourself teaches you how to take care of others…. that loving yourself, you learn how to love someone else and that doing what's right for you let's everything else around you just fall into place where it should be.

with that, goodnight all, I am done rambling. I am going to sleep well and wish you all the same.

Love,
Read Riding Hood

Elf

Well, my dears, it is the same day, only later. It feels like just a minute ago I was getting up early, watching Warm Bodies and heading off to work. And now I am getting myself tucked into bed, getting ready to get to bed and wake up early again. (oooo and fun fact about Warm Bodies: I didn't know that Jonathan Levine is dating Jennifer Lawrence… that's kinda cool=)  And what am I doing?… Watching a movie..=)

We are having a cold front here in Texas, and going outside tonight, the air smells like "snow…" It won't snow (at least I don't think it will) however, it smells like what it smells like in Colorado right before it snows. I'm sure there is a scientific reason for it, but I only know it as, "smells like snow."

I used to watch so many newer and recent movies, and/or just more variety of movies. I was all over the board, trying everything it seemed. But anymore, I am much more picky and I stick to favorites. I venture out of my comfort zone when I start to feel the stagnant waters of boredom pooling too close for comfort, but that isn't too often. I ventured out to try Elf a few days ago, a Christmas movie with Will Ferrell. It is gloriously cheesy, stupid, and gooberish and full of christmas tinsel, What is Not to Love? I mean Will Ferrell smiles cheesy/creepy smiles and says, "smiling is his favorite…" AND he makes spaghetti and pours maple syrup on it… and then m&m's… then chocolate pop tarts… and then mashes it all up and stuffs it in his mouth because elves focus on the four main food groups, "candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup…" That's ridiculous. The whole thing is ridiculous, but it's great ridiculous. And it's about finding what's important in your life, and singing out loud (not just lip syncing…) And that's all I have to say. I also have been working on not giving plots of movies away, because I probably am ruining them for people, but *sigh* we'll see… 

Anyhoo…. I hope you all have a beautiful and safe evening, stay warm if you are dealing with a cold front like me, and I will talk to you soon as the holidays roll in. Sweet dreams all

sincerely,
Read Riding Hood