Pick a Movie... Any movie. just not any movie.

I don't normally....
what?
write poetry...
blog at all....

I don't normally connect with people.
I don't normally.
I don't normally.
Normally.
usually.
regardless.
I do.

Movies.
They once defined eras
of me.
for me.
movies
like shutter clicks, flicking into each other,
un-seperable
stuck together.
running into each other.
all just a blur.
just a blur.
a blur.

blur. blur. blur.
everything just a blur.
movies all the same.
beginning to feel like they're all the same.
nothing is different.
all the same.
same.
usually.
regardless.
I still do.

I don't normally participate in my life.
I'm good at picking
interesting
funny
moving
emotional
films
because
usually
normally
I do.

I'm just too sad to finish this.
usually
regardless
I do.


Read Riding Hood.

Jumanji

Good Monday afternoon my dears, I know it is dreaded Monday, but I am actually off of work today and hope to share the positive vibes with you all.

I know I haven't blogged in a while. A lot of things on my mind. A lot. And one of the recent things on my mind, of course, is the death of Robin Williams. Yes, I know it seems like everyone is going on about it, and there are other people dying every day as well..... it's just .... this is a human being we all knew.... at some point we all laughed and cried with. Mr. Williams was a man that shared laughter with the world when his own heart was aching and even with fame remained humble and kind. I will miss him terribly and all the movies I looked forward to seeing him in for the years to come.

I am thinking of all the other people that pass away and none of us really pay attention to. Like in the book, The Fault in our Stars,  Hazel wonders  at how so many die every day, but only very few are widely remembered. And when Hazel is in Amsterdam and visits Anne Frank's house, she sees a book with a list of all the names of everyone like Anne lost in the Holocaust; and Hazel thinks that it would be possible to remember every human that passes away in history, if only each individual would remember three other's names.  On the list below Anne Frank, there are three different "Aron Frank"s.... and Hazel wonders who they were and about their families......

I think of all the people I know.... from my past.... lovers... friends... acquaintances...... bosses... coworkers..boyfriends... strangers.... authors.... actors......I remember many more than just three.... We all do..... And I realize just when I start to think the little people get lost in the ambiguity of it all... I realize, none of us do.. Because there is At Least one person out there that will remember you... and will remember me, and odds are there is more than one that will remember you and me... so, we all do live on, maybe not in the limelight like people like Robin Williams, but in our own lamplights in our own living rooms; in our  own kitchen dining table lights; we make up all the little starts that light up the heavens, planets are not enough by themselves.

Take comfort in that my dears. None of us are forgotten, even if not widely known about.  I love you and hope this Monday is not a drudge to be slogged through, but just a peaceful day leaning into fall with a cool breeze, an overcast sky, and a paper bag lunch to remind you of those school days gone by.
Sweet day dreams my loves,

Read Riding Hood

Penelope

Good Sunday afternoon everyone! It is a pleasant enough day, and I am just bursting to tell you about this movie I watched yesterday. It is a glorious and wonderful and sweet and .... odd... and of course cheesy.
 It is called Penelope.

It is about a girl born into a family that is cursed. Any girl born into the family will be born with a pig nose until the curse can be broken by marrying into high society.
For many generations, only male heirs were born... But down the line just about the time everyone has forgotten about the curse, Penelope arrives.. and of course, with the pig snout. Her mother does everything in her power to protect her from the paparazzi and keeps her locked away from any nosy reporters. By the time Penelope is of age, her mother arranges for suitable male suitors to be interviewed to be engaged with Penelope in hopes to end the curse. The boys are not allowed to see Penelope right away, until they have been briefed on how much they will inherit upon becoming engaged. But... "unfortunately" upon seeing Penelope's snout, they all run as far from her as they can. ....

Until one day, due to circumstances, one suitor does not run away.

So begins the venturing out into the world for Penelope.
and brace yourself, I am about to supply spoilers.

She asks the suitor who doesn't run away to marry her and break the curse.... But you see,  unbeknownst to Penelope, he knows he isn't of suitable lineage to break the curse and tells her he can't... "marry her," is the assumption. So, Penelope heartbroken runs away from home to explore the world, and in turn, when he realizes she is chasing her dreams, he is inspired himself to find his place in the world, as well.

They end up finding their places in the world, and they find their ways back to each other.

And I love it most because she realizes, she doesn't need someone to marry her to break the curse, she likes herself just the way she is.

*sigh*  I love that. I wish every girl, every woman to realize, they don't need a man to "save" them.

Every person is capable of finding their place in the world, finding themselves. And also finding love. Because, as everyone knows, finding themselves and finding love are two different things. Sometimes the timing of love is off... and has to be put on the back burner while busy getting oneself in order.... but true love finds its' way, in it's own time.

So have faith my darlings.  Love will find its' way. I know it. I promise it will. I would never promise something I don't believe in. Everything will be ok. I know it.

Have a good night my dears.

Sincerely,
Read Riding Hood

The Princess and the Frog

Good afternoon my dears, I have been so overwhelmed the last week... weeks... I have lost track of the days. I always seem to feel one day ahead too many, and by the time I land on the right day, I start second guessing myself. I'm exhausted; but I will say there is satisfaction in hard work. The satisfaction for me comes from working a hard day, and the following day learning from my mistakes and doing it better the next time. It truly is a luxury to go to work and know that if you make a mistake once, you are given the chance to learn from it. Life is not s
o forgiving. *sigh* But I digress.

I hope you all are having a much more relaxed and enjoyable afternoon. I am now, plopped on my bed, lying like broccoli........ vegged out to my hearts content. Lately I have been zoning out to the children's Disney movie The Princess and the Frog (which I will commence after chatting briefly with you lovies.)

The title says the summary of the classic fairy tale of the prince turned into a frog and only the kiss of a princess can change him back into a human. Disney chose the setting of New Orleans, and the prince is a playboy visiting to marry a rich daughter of a millionaire because his wealthy parents cut him off for being a leach. So, he either marries into wealth or finds a job.... He decides to marry into wealth... Unfortunately for him he runs into a voodoo charlatan who in seeking his own riches, turns the prince into a frog....
Meanwhile! There is a waitress, who loves cooking ever since she was a girl. She has worked two jobs her whole life saving to buy a restaurant, and one night while catering a masquerade ball put on for the visiting prince, she dresses in a princess gown and happens to meet a frog who happens to be the prince.... The prince mistakes her for a princess and makes a deal to help her buy her restaurant if she will kiss him and turn him back human..... So, she kisses him, but instead of turning him human, it just turns her into a frog too.... and so the mayhem begins.

It is a cute movie with catchy tunes and something I am totally too old to be watching, but do I look like I care?... Well, no... I do not. It is a sweet and funny movie with a firefly in love with a star he mistakes for another firefly who he "only sees at night, and she don't say much..."

I know I am like the waitress, I am used to working so much, but I don't know how to have fun, to go out and be social. The people that know the waitress, her name is Tiana, tell her, "girl, all you do is work!".....I feel like that's me. But that's just how I am, I have a goal and I know what I want. And it really is true that when you know what you want, everything is just bumps in the road.

And I wish the same for you all. I hope that you know what makes you happy, and you go for it... And even if you find out later, it isn't what you thought it'd be or maybe your dream just needs a little tweaking, don't be afraid to go with the flow of it. Find what makes you happy, I hope you do. Have a beautiful rest of your day darlings

Sincerely,
Read Riding Hood

Saving Mr. Banks

Good afternoon, my darlings. Time is just flying away from me. I don't know where it is going, it is always going.......  

So, if you haven't heard, there is a recent movie just released on blu-ray, titled Saving Mr. Banks.

It is about the true story of how the original film, Mary Poppins, came into existence.  It is about how Walt Disney, the man himself, pursued the author of the Mary Poppins novels for children for twenty years to sign over the rights of the books to evolve them into a live animation revolution.

Saving Mr. Banks begins after twenty years of pursuing and when Mrs. Travers, the author, is to fly to Los Angeles, Hollywood, to collaborate with Disney to overview the script before signing the rights over.  Poor Mrs. Travers is terrified of them destroying her original character; what author isn't terrified of that? But in this case, it isn't just a "character" to Mrs. Travers: Mary Poppins is much more than just a character; Mary Poppins is her family; Mary Poppins is all that's left of the real live family that disappointed her. She cannot betray her last remaining tidbit of memory over to people that would misunderstand it and translate it into something it's not.

I don't want to tell you anymore about the story, because I want you to see it for yourself. I don't know if you  will like this movie or not, it may not be your cup of tea, with a spoonful of sugar or not....  But this movie is something deeper than expected, than I expected.

This movie is about how life can disappoint us, people can disappoint us... Even people with good hearts, and the best plans can go astray and disappoint us.

This movie is about how we love and forgive people dearly in spite of their incredible faults.

This movie is about how Mrs. Travers, as a little girl, was disappointed by life when she lost her very loving father, who subsequently was also an alcoholic.

This movie is about never losing one's imagination and dreams despite the disappointment that finds us.

This movie is about all of us; about all of our sad tales, our sad histories....  It is about how we cannot control what happened in the past, but we get to finish the story. We get to let go of all the past and all its' skeleton's and create a beautiful future not dictated by our pasts.  ..... But the only way possible of accomplishing this is by forgiving ourselves our very own mistakes; until we can be kind enough to ourselves to do that, we are only disappointing ourselves for the rest of our lives.

For those of us who have passed on from this life, it is too late to grant this forgiveness. But to all of us living, there is always hope of a new ending. There is always beauty and wonder to be found in this world; just because you may not have discovered it the first adventure of your life doesn't mean you were foolish, doesn't mean it was a waste, doesn't mean everything up to disappoint's point was useless; it just means you were brave enough with enough heart to search for your dreams.

This movie is about granting yourself the freedom to pick yourself up and try to find your dreams again. Don't be so hard on yourself for failing to find them the first time around.... We all have failed. I have failed more times than I can count.

I always struggle forgiving myself for failing. ... I tell myself I must be too stupid and inadequate to find my dreams... But then I always come back to realizing, it is never a shame to have loved: it is never a shame to have trusted and put hope in any dream, even after those dreams have become a disappointment. It would only be a shame if I were to never to try and hope in any dreams ever again.


well, I am almost confident I am overly passionate about this film and you might not find it as satisfying as myself. But despite that, I am pleased you spent this time making it through this blog, I am pleased you took the time to come listen to me. I hope in some small way, maybe I am able to share some of the hope I chase after with you all.
I wish you all a beautiful life, my dears.

with all my love,
Read Riding Hood

The Secret World of Arrietty

Good morning my dears! It is only ten o'clock in the morning, and I have already ventured out into the world and come back to the roost. It is cold, and I am already pondering making some popcorn to accompany me whilst I watch my latest new find: The Secret World of Arrietty. It is based off the children's book "The Borrowers" about little people that live in our houses. You ever wonder where something is that you have misplaced? Well, it probably wasn't misplaced, a Borrower probably "borrowed" it. ....

I still remember watching the 90's movie with John Goodman "The Borrowers." I loved the books as a kid and the movie, and it's a pleasure to be watching this studio Ghibli jewel.

Arrietty is almost 14 and going on her first expedition to "borrow" and along the way is seen by a human boy.

There is a scene where the mother is worrying about Arrietty going on her first outing, and the father says, "she needs to learn to survive once we aren't around anymore." ...

And upon venturing into the big open house, Arrietty wonders out loud, "What is this place?... It's so big?.."  I don't even have to be a two inch tall girl to have asked that question myself looking at the big world around me sometimes. Sometimes it is so easy to feel like just a small speck in this great big world we live in. I like to feel that way sometimes; it can put a lot of things in perspective and simplify things. It makes me feel like a little kid again.

That is one of the things I like most about being a kid, is I can look at things for how they are, not for all the complications I sometimes needlessly add on being an adult.

Have a simply beautiful day all,
Read Riding Hood

Ted

So, let me start this off by saying Ted, is my "Eat, Pray, Love" for this point in my life. ....  And maybe that sounds like a weird thing to say, but let me explain.....

Up till now I have put off seeing this movie Ted, because I knew the summary was, "can a guy grow up past his childhood teddy bear and become a man?..." and .. I wasn't ready to confront that question. Movies really affect me and oddly enough I almost feel superstitious about them... like the ones I end up watching are trying to tell me something and having confessed that, I didn't want to watch this movie and have it warp me. I didn't want to watch it and it have some wimpy "feel good" ending that was out of touch with the harsh reality of life I am familiar with.. But on the other hand, I didn't want it to have some jaded "pessimistic" ending either...... Seriously.... I need .. I needed and I need something in the middle.... Yes, there is harsh reality in life, but there are feel good moments too.. and up to this point in my life, it has only been either one far end of the spectrum or the other, either too "happy go lucky" or just "horrible."... But there has been one moment in my life that wasn't extreme polar opposites and it was something that just snuck up on me and ..ever since  then I've been trying to find my balance again;  I fell in love. Not infatuation. Not obsession. Not a love affair, that "i love you" was unspoken and realized until too late..... No, I fell in real love... The kind of love,  you tell them every chance you get; the kind of love you show up just to surprise them; the kind of love you let them go; the kind of love where you don't have to explain yourself.... The kind of love that it doesn't matter what you could possibly say or do, you will still love that other person.
How does one recover some such wonder? There is no recovering. And afterwards I have been struggling between the old me, the girl used to only highs and lows, and becoming the woman that is confident and not teetering on the edge constantly. I have just felt like a pin ball bouncing back and forth from pessimism back to optimism.... and talking with a counselor, she told me I'm not the only one who goes through this. Lots of people think if life doesn't hand them exactly "this and this and this" well, then they bounce back to the opposite end of the spectrum... I
don't know..

So, I finally watched this movie. Ted. By myself. and it was exactly what I needed. a happy medium in-between.
Ted is a teddy bear given as a gift to a friendless little boy. The little boy makes a wish that they would be friends forever, and the bear comes to life and remains his best friend as he grows up into adulthood.
The whole movie is everyone trying to find that "somewhere in-between place."
The boy/man played by Mark Walberg is trying to find balance between still being a little kid and being the man who loves his girlfriend.
The girlfriend is trying to find what makes her happy despite everyone else's opinion of her life and at the same time figuring out what she isn't willing to live with.
And Ted, is trying to figure out where he belongs in the picture and even wonders if he belongs in the picture at all anymore.

 Every single one of them does the pin ball action.

The boy/man decides it's either Ted or his girlfriend...
The girlfriend decides it's either her or Ted,
 and Ted decides, it's either himself or the girlfriend...

All their similar decisions all add up to, choosing one over the other...

But that's so extreme. ....
Working through all the issues, the guy realizes he does love his girlfriend and wants to take responsibility and marry her,
Ted realizes he still needs to be in the guys life, but as a better supportive friend, and
the girlfriend realizes she loves the guy for who he is, and while she doesn't just want to be friends, she realizes the friendship her boyfriend has with Ted is a part of who the man she loves is, and she doesn't want that part of the man she loves to go away... if Ted went away, her boyfriend wouldn't be the same person she loved in the first place........  

So, they all find a realistic happy, but not perfect, medium that works for them
(notice I said works for them... not everyone else... they found the solution that works for them..)


And that is me, right now... I know what I want, and everything else is just a part of it that will work itself all into place as long as I do what's right for me, because when I do what's right for me, the people that matter around me will do what's right for themselves and it will all fall into place.... And it will just work in it's happy-medium/but-not-perfect sort of way...

I heard this thing once that at the time I didn't quite understand, but now makes perfect sense.

"We are all just one small adjustment away from who we are meant to be."

At the time, I didn't understand... but now I do.
When one path reaches a "dead-end" I used to think my whole life had to go down an entirely different road; I thought I would have to go either right or left... I had to go either up or down.... But in reality, it isn't about finding "up" or "down..." It's about me finding what works, finding hidden passages, making stairs that change to where I need them to go, forging dirt roads and repaving old turn arounds and just taking mindful steps to where is right for myself and letting everything else fall into place.. ...It's about finding a comfortable balance between up and down, not Exact middle either, just a grey place in-between the black and white of this world; it's finding that grey area that if I hit it just right, I will find that silver lining that will shine through when I need it to.
I know now that silver linings are like butterflies.... I don't always see them, and trying to pin them down only kills them. But when I let them be free, the ones that are meant to be come back to alight on my shoulder when I least expect it. Silver linings are like rainbows, they're pointless to chase, I just have to have faith that if I pay attention, they'll be there after the rain has stopped.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Hello my dear fellow bloggers and readers and instagramers and anyone else who meanders through here; it is officially the new year of 2014, the Chinese year of the horse. I always like this feeling at the beginning of the new year, like a fresh new breeze is blowing through, almost like I can sense the new possibilities awaiting me in the coming year. I lived for so long in a rut, just staying the same.. But now I have a taste for change; it may not always be what I was expecting or be something I would ever ask for, but sometimes it ends up being better and more satisfying than anything I could have imagined or asked for in the first place.

I am back to taking myself to the movies alone. Of course it isn't as satisfying as it would be to go with someone else, but there are times in life I will be by myself and it is always a comfort to know I can be "alright" alone; I am not dependent on the presence of someone else for me to be "alright." *sigh* So, I took myself to see Frozen and despite there being much more singing than I anticipated, I enjoyed it. I don't know if I mentioned going and seeing it by myself, but I  guess I'll tell you again anyway.

I also went with my little cousin to go see the Secret Life of Walter Mitty with Ben Stiller, and I absolutely Adored it. Ben Stiller is the man as he merges into actually living an adventurous life rather than just day dreaming about it. In the midst of the movie you realize he was adventurous as a kid, but after the death of his father, he had to step up as the man of the family and take on the responsibility of earning a reliable income to take care of all the bills….. And finally as a grown man, he is learning when it's ok. to venture out of the guidelines and actually live life and not just hold back worrying "what if."
I am hoping to get to that point one day. I want to get to where I am established enough that when I want to go out and travel somewhere I can and not be worried that I am jeopardizing my other necessities.

This past year, I purged a lot of my old dvd's and sold them to clean out my old cluttered energy. Some of the movies that were still special to me I went and repurchased as blu-rays, but after looking at my repurchases, I realize how few I truly valued enough to re-buy…. And now that I am more choosy about what new things I buy, I see how I have changed…. I realize a lot of my old movies I owned were due to other people's suggestions and likes. I had a lot of films popular and liked by a lot of the people around me; pop culture faves, popular hits, etc.  Almost all of them now are no longer occupying space on my shelves…. I cleared them all out and they are gone. Looking at the ones that remain and now take up the space really create a clear picture of myself… None of these movies are movies that were influenced by other people, the movies on my shelf now are movies that I was curious about and went and looked for watched because I, Myself, wanted to see them, not because someone else told me they were good or great… The movies I own now are all my taste. Some of the old titles I owned resurfaced in the repurchase pile, but there are not very many. Looking at my new found personal taste, I realize none of the movies I watch are necessarily the movies with great box office reviews or backed by popular vote. I also realize I watch A Lot of kids movies. I have to wonder if I'm learning to be a kid I never really got to be, and if I am, I really believe it's helping me to be a better adult. At least I hope it is, I'd like to believe it's helping me be more compassionate and understanding and not as pessimistic of others around me, because I'm allowing myself to be that way towards my own self.
The newest addition to my shelf was the 80's pop culture hit of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It is a cheesy 80's film and simple and I love it.



That's another trait I have realized I love about anything, that doesn't even necessarily apply to movies, but to life in general as well; I love simple things, I don't need anything big or flashy or the hottest name brand, I just like what I like and it's usually simple and plain and with that I am content. How lucky am I to be able to know what I like and to be content with that?… I wish all the same for you, my dear reader. Have a beautiful day, look up and appreciate the blue sky or the clouds you see today when you do.

with much affection,
Read Riding Hood