Lately the weather has been this "spring-ish" like attitude, gyrating between chilly and warm, with this persistent wind that is on the verge of being strong, but stays on light cruise control instead. I recently have been trying to define this feeling inside of me and why it is so important for me to pull it out of everyone around me... and I now know how to define it: Real. I have a very... well, not complicated mind, but many faceted mind/thought process: picture the Hoober-Blue Highway criss-crossing itself and doubling back and looping hopelessly and marvelously around and in and out of itself with rhyme and reason just because it can. ... regardless of whether I want it to or not. It just does its' own thing and I go along for the ride. Anyway, so.... I can tell when people are being fake with me. I can tell when something is "off" with what they are telling me or talking about something. I can't always, put my finger on exactly what it is, but I can just tell something is there regardless. .. That being said: I understand when people keep parts of themselves hidden, however, I can tell when people keep parts of themselves hidden just to be "accepted." AND THAT DRIVES ME NUTS. I understand. But it drives me nuts. And then, I'm not really even mad at the person for being "fake" and untrue to who they are.. I'm more mad at the "they" aka the "commercialism" that drives individuals to convincing themselves that being like the "they" is how they need to be.
Another thing that makes me sad is when people put on a fake facade because they actually care what everyone else thinks. That is the worst.
I am sitting here watching one of my favorite films, American Beauty. It is about Lester Burhnam. He is married to an uptight fake real-estate agent, Caroline, and they have a daughter Jane. Jane is a dark beauty who is friends with a popular blonde fake girl from her school. Lester falls head over heels into lust for his daughter's best friend, and Caroline begins to have an affair with Buddy, a competitor in the real-estate world.
I think of Jane's mom in American Beauty when I think of people that care what everyone else thinks about their lives. When Buddy tells Caroline that "to be successful, one must constantly put on an image of success.." I cry a little inside. Because, it almost sounds right, but something is missing from what he said. Do not pretend to be successful.... Either you are or you aren't successful, but don't pretend to be, because acting successful your entire life will never make you successful. Be honest with yourself. If you want to be successful, be real: acknowledge reality, the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. Everything isn't cotton candy pink, and everything isn't dark, evil, scary. But nothing is anything without it all to balance each other out. (and you're thinking, oh, god, here she's about to go all Zen...) But yea, Seriously!!!
I love this movie, because it is about people finding what makes them alive, and it is about people that act and over-react a certain way they think they should be. And I beg you, dear reader, to Forget All Of That!! I beg you to forget what anyone else thinks, or says or does... What do You think? What do You say? What do You do?..... How are You?... Ask yourself these questions. Imagine living forever, in an ocean of time... A place where time doesn't end; it just keeps playing, and death isn't waiting at the end, because there is no end. Now, ask yourself, do you want to forever pretend to be someone you're not.. Or would you rather strive to be successful in the face of adversity, in the face of love, in the face of this stupid little life?.....
I had so much more to say about this movie, but it all boiled down to .. just.. be real. Keep it real. Please don't be fake. I would rather know I don't get along with the real you than get along with the fake you. And I'm not saying that to anyone, I'm just saying for everyone, real is the best policy. Plain and dry. So, have a good night, my dears. Tomorrow is another day. I will be another day older, and .... I don't know. *smile* And that's o.k. Life happens.
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