Cat In The Hat... Nigel Strawberry..... Bleh bleh bleh....

Hello my dears, 

 it seems as the faster time moves for me, the less I write. I used to write to fill the time- to fill the silent void- or to silence the demons in my head. And now..... writing would be because I actually want to write.. 

And I do want to write. And I do want to read my books. And I do want to paint and draw and watercolor and sew plushies and watch movies. 

Let me tell you a story.. 

It's about a little girl who grew up sheltered from the world... All she knew was what she grew up with. She never went to public school. She never really had "normal" friends and relationships. All she had were her books- her movies- her sister- her imagination- her sadness- her self. She had been told that the world was evil and not safe and corrupting and that you "had to be careful." And yet, with all that- she always looked at other people out and about and some of them seemed happy- and she wanted that for herself- she felt strange and weird- she felt like an outsider- and she would see other children- and then teenagers as she got older- hanging out together- laughing together- experiencing life together- and she was still alone- laughing alone- crying alone.....

Reflecting on herself- she realized she spent all her time with books and movies- inanimate objects- they couldn't laugh and cry with her- they couldn't see her- interact with her- they were just .....things... And she became angry and frustrated.. and she threw all them aside  because she felt they were keeping her from living her life. 

So, she went out in search of this "life" she felt she wasn't living.. and she tried to be like everyone else- do what other people did... at first it was exciting and new, but the more she tried to be happy like everyone else- the sadder and even more alone she felt- because the more she realized she was trying to be something she wasn't. The whole time she had been trying to be someone else- rather than herself... 

It took a lot of heartbreak... and a lot of heartache to find herself- to find honesty- and like herself.... to be happy with who she was.... 

I'd like to tell you the story has a happy ending... but that's the funny thing about real life.... It doesn't end until we die... and until we die... it's never just a "happy ending." There will be hardship and struggles and pain... but there will also be love and beauty and happiness. 

The story isn't over yet. The girl grew into  a woman and is still living her life- finding herself- creating herself- creating art- because she is art- and life is an art.

It's funny to me how all she wanted to do was have a "real life." And the whole time she had no idea that she had been living her real life the whole time- SHE was the only one who couldn't see it for the longest time. 

I never would wish heartache on anyone- I only wish good things for you all my dears... But I know life has a way of handing out heartache no matter what. But I wish you to hold on. I have weathered enough storms to know they don't last forever- storms have an end. because time never stops moving forward. I know it's not easy to hold on. I know it isn't, but if we didn't keep trying- we will never know if it will get better. And it will- it may take a while- but that's life- that's art. 

goodnight my loves. 

create some art. make something beautiful . 

sincerely, 

Read Riding Hood

Christmas and The Interview

Hello my dears,

It is a new year! A whole year to fill with blog posts, or at least the whole year full of opportunity to fill it with posts. ... I digress... per the norm.

I hope all of your holidays were enjoyable; mine actually were. This Christmas was one of the best I've ever had. Usually I spend my holidays lost between wanting to love and loathe them. The holidays usually are just a reminder to me of how "un-picture-perfect" my life has always been. The holidays always just pointed out to me just how different I have celebrated them compared to others.

And looking at them now, I see that has been my ingratitude for all that I have.

I have never spent a Thanksgiving or Christmas without food. I have never gone without presents.

Maybe I have had some weird family moments, but honestly, who hasn't?

Maybe I didn't grow up with Santa Claus, or Rudolph, or magic......

But that's o.k.

Because I did grow up with love. And I am grateful for that. Love is everything. Truly it is. I wish love for you all.

I meant to get on here and talk to you about this recent debacle over the movie The Interview, and per the norm got distracted talking about something corny.

Well, I finally watched The Interview in its' entirety. I must say, it had some funny moments. It definitely had some stupid moments. It is just another Seth Rogen, James Franco comedy/drame/bromance movie. I read some people thought this movie actually shed a positive light on Kim Jong un, but I think those people probably fell asleep about an hour and twenty minutes into the movie right before Mr. un showed his true colors... Because [SPOILER ALERT] YES, they portrayed him as an evil dictator in the end.
And I couldn't help but also feel as if Seth Rogen and James Franco were trying to make their own personal statement about the news media and propaganda and giving the people "what they want."

That all being said. I can see how this film is controversial- but I do believe in freedom of speech. And this is just a movie. If people are going to begin saying we should not publicate movies like this, I have to ask why they still allow the book Mein Kampf to be published? That book is voiced by one of the most evil men in history, Adolf Hiltler. We still publish his book, but we debate whether to release a satire comedy, because it is controversial?......I think priorities need to be set. Seriously.

Now...  from a movie goers perspective, this movie was funny, slow at times... I thought the Lord of the Rings comparisons were very dry and only saved by the over eccentric acting of James Franco and the sincere acting of Seth Rogen. [SPOILER ALERT] The Lord of the Rings humor finally did come together somewhat at the end when Seth Rogen loses his fingers at the end like Frodo.... But if Seth was Samwise.. Then shouldn't have James lost his fingers... not Seth?.... lol just saying.....  Anyway....

It was weird, controversial (see how I keep using that politically correct word there) and comical and stupid... and just a movie. I would not recommend this for everyone. If you want to support the "freedom of speech" I would suggest renting it off youtube etc. It is not for children. It is not a "family" movie. It does have graphic violence. But if you enjoy Seth Rogen and/or James Franco, you will probably get some entertainment out of watching this. I did.

So that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I hope you all have a beautiful rest of you weekend. I am going to try to.. and I plan to watch something less controversial, something more light hearted... like the Muppets or something.

much love my dears,

Read Riding Hood

From Up On Poppy Hill: true love is always young love

 Good early afternoon all my dears, it is a cloudy day here, and the threat of rain is hanging over us all.  I am actually off of work and just arrived home from the river. I enjoyed quiet time at the river and I ate my early lunch before coming home and tucking myself up to maybe write, watch some movies, and thumb through some books.








I had the pleasure of watching the latest Ghibli film, From Up On Poppy Hill. I first found out about it a while ago from a trailer on YouTube. Since the poppy is my favorite flower, the title alone drew me in. It is about two school kids in post World War II Japan that fall in love with each other.

I think Studio Ghibli enjoys sharing stories about love, and more specifically, about young love, or love found by people young in heart, people new and fresh to finding true love. Like Howl's Moving Castle, the characters aren't necessarily young, but upon falling in love with each other, the love they share isn't messy, it is pure and adulterated, it is a love that children often find and lose and that adults are lucky to ever find again. The love I am talking about is a love that doesn't stem from lust or loneliness, but a love that sparks between two individuals over a connection. Two people can be a perfect match for each other, but if they don't have that "love" for each other, it's like that saying, "who cares for all the crinkling of a pie, if at the bottom some sweetness doth not lie?." It basically is saying even if a pie looks perfect, if it doesn't taste sweet, no one will care  for it. And just like two people, even if they look "picture perfect" together, if there is no love, what's the point?


As we become adults, we go through experiences that jade us and we begin to look at all our childhood dreams as "childish notions" that should be set aside to "grow up." As little girls we want our prince charming, and as little boys we want our princess, but sometimes growing up, life and circumstance gets in the way and over time we convince ourself that the notion of finding "prince charming" and finding "our princess" is ridiculous and foolish. This is where we are wrong. It is not wrong to hope for our prince, or our princess's, we just have to grow smarter about seeing things for what they are. It is not wrong to love, but it is wrong to stay with someone just because you love them, when all they do is hurt you and never give back the same love you gave them. As young people too often we fall in love with someone that we "see" as our prince/princess, when really love has blinded us and what we mistake as royalty is really just the opposite.
So, what am I trying to say?....
Never stop believing in love.
Never stop hoping for your fairy tale.
Women, We should want a prince charming!
Men, You should want a princess!
But don't go looking for a princess in a slut
and don't go looking for a prince in a player.
And if you want a prince, don't present yourself as anything less than a princess.
And if you want a princess, don't present yourself as anything less than a prince.
AND never settle for less than Exactly what makes you happy.
Learn to recognize what's in front of you, and don't beat yourself up for loving people, you can't help who you love. But you can help what you do and who you get involved with.

Watching From Up On Poppy Hill, I enjoy the belief that true love is always young love, no matter what age it finds us; whether it is like the little children in Ponyo, or these young adults in Poppy Hill.







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