The Edge of Reason

Here I am dear fellow bloggers, readers, and stalkers. I am seated at an old comfortable hang out: Barnes & Noble. Leg crossed, iPad balanced across knee, Starbucks refresher within reach, book my cousin gave me a few days ago at my side, I feel comfortable. I feel at peace in this moment. I was always safe here (at Barnes.) I now feel like that somewhere else: in a river with my feet dangling in the rain gorged current. I actually can't wait to get back to it.

I saw the dvd Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason sitting atop a relative's tv cabinet and it put me to thinking. She sets out to take care of herself and doesn't settle for less than what she wants, and along the way, her standards are raised higher. For anyone that hasn't seen it, it is a movie about a middle aged British woman seeking success and love and bumbling her way through life fantastically. When life gives Bridget Jones lemons, she puckers up and just sucks on 'em or cuts up lemon wedges for a drink, or she might just chuck them in the trash, you just are never quite sure with her.


I usually feel like I'm on the edge of reason. Who doesn't?... It's a crazy busy world, and one of our important jobs that a lot of us ignore is slowing down enough to have time to do the things that relax us and make us happy. We are born and bred into a society that we have to push ourselves to work until we drop, and then just get back up and keep doing it till we drop again... and again.. until we die. It's important to stop and smell the roses, or the coffee, or both, or whatever strikes your fancy. Some people have to work hard to find even a few minutes to take care of themselves; most people don't have the luxury of saying, "I work so that I can afford my living costs and the ability to be able to go do what I Really want to be doing with my time." I am lucky enough to say, I go to work, I do my job and I leave, and I get paid; and in my off time I am able to just do what I want to do.

I think of how I got to take a crazy roadtrip with my dog at my side and just listen to the silence of the road. I got to finally drive back into my old city and feel my old memories and just cry from sensing the gentle probing tendrils one's environment wraps around memories like ivy vines. I was able to finally let myself remember what it felt like a year and a half ago when I was so heartbroken and empty, and I finally was able to cry for the woman I was at that time. It felt so good to just let all my walls of protection down and just let my history wash over me like a rain storm. I got to get my transmission fixed today and tomorrow I get to go the the Renaissance festival, and I get to just relax and just breathe. I get so caught up in thought, I almost turn blue from just holding my breathe.

So, hold onto yourselves my dears. Don't forget what you like doing in your free time. We are all individuals with different hobbies, we deserve to have time to enjoy them. Even if it's smoking like a chimney and drinking like a fish (like Bridget Jones..) don't forget to make yourself stop and just bask in it for a second or two.

Drowsy and ready to get a good night's sleep,

Read Riding Hood

I wish you all a Happy Weekend!


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